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"Galmar will be back soon," said Ulfric, ignoring the boy's sarcastic remark. Giving a great, exaggerated sigh, Arend slid from Ulfric's lap and allowed the Jarl of Windhelm to tuck himself back in his trousers and straighten his mantle. Wordlessly, the boy wandered over to the great table and plucked a couple snowberries from a silver bowl. He popped them in his mouth, then put a hand on his hip and tilted his head at Ulfric.

"I suppose this means you'll be busy doing your war business for the rest of the night with Galmar, then?" he inquired blandly, though his lips turned out ever so slightly to show his annoyance. Ulfric shook his head.

"Not tonight. Even a king needs his rest, after all."

"Oh, really? Good," chirped Arend, brightening. He then turned and made for the door to the upper wings, calling back casually over his shoulder, "Whenever you're ready, then."

Ulfric blinked in surprise and confusion. "Where do you think you're going, boy?" he growled.

"Your bedchamber," answered Arend as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I expect a good, thorough fucking for pulling my hair like that. Quite rude, you know." Then he winked. "That is, if you're up to it, old man. Otherwise I'll have to go call on Ralof to take care of me. I do hope he hasn't left yet."

It was all Ulfric could do not to gape like a fish. What nerve! What cheek! Speaking to him like that! Him, Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm and future High King of Skyrim!

"That mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble, boy," he growled in warning.

"Really? Seems to me like my mouth is doing a pretty good job keeping me out of it," snorted Arend ironically. "You know, dragons and all."

"I'm serious, boy. Show some respect for your betters."

The lighthearted, playful defiance disappeared momentarily from Arend's face, to be replaced by something dark and cold that Ulfric didn't recognize on the perpetually carefree youth. Then it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, as if Ulfric had only imagined it.

"My apologies, my lord," simpered Arend, and the rebellious play was back in his voice. He bowed extravagantly, bending fully at the waist until his nose practically touched the ground and sweeping an invisible cap from his head as he oozed, "How foolish of me to behave in such a base, uncourtly manner, Your Highness. I am sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities." As he gushed dramatically, Arend punctuated each statement with a flip of his hand or a cock of his hip. It was utterly ridiculous, and Ulfric knew full well he was being mocked --in his own throne room! Still, he couldn't help himself. Letting out a single bark of amusement, the Jarl of Windhelm shook his head.

"One of these days, boy, I'm going to bend you over my knee and teach you some manners."

Arend grinned and gave Ulfric a dangerous look. "I'll bring the switch if you bring the ropes."

"You're absolutely depraved, boy."

"And you wouldn't have it any other way," pointed out Arend, laughing as he disappeared up the stairs to Ulfric's chambers.

Talos help him, he was right, Ulfric had to admit to himself. The boy was absolutely infuriating. Arend was rude, crass, unpredictable, childish, and somehow, perversely, perfectly suited to Ulfric in every way. He was a stray cat. He could be coaxed with food and treats and scratches under the chin, but in the end, he would never belong to anyone but himself. Tomorrow morning, when Ulfric awoke in his bed, Arend might be there next to him, curled up beneath the thick furs of his bed with his fox-red hair poking out from its warmth, or he might be gone without a trace, and Ulfric would only be able to wonder and wait for the day when Arend would show up in his throne room once more, pawing for treats and fluttering those long lashes at him.

Letting out a long breath, Ulfric muttered peevishly, "Damn whelp…" before rising from his throne and following the path the errant youth had taken to the upper wings of the grand palace. Galmar could wait.

* * *

Done! My brain is mush, but it's done! I even did the sketch like I said! :0 I'll post that and the tags for this tomorrow(ish). I hope you guys like Arend, 'cause I have big plans for him on this meme...

Potential A!A here.

How do you feel about BrynjolfxF!DB? For some reason my DB always saw Bryn as a BFF rather than a LI (seemingly confirmed by the whole Amulet of Mara thing)

Sign me up for a new f5 key, too!

D'aw. That's actually quite sweet. And I agree, we need more Tullius.

Another potential A!A. I just saw this prompt and I don't think I can resist.

How would OP feel about a character from the Dragonborn DLC? I would post my fill in the DLC thread of course, but I could pop a link here. I'd hate to potentially spoil anything for anyone. :)

DO WANT.

So, my Dovahkins always end up dressing in the most functional things they can find - Elven armor with that cool enchantment that protects them from some magic spells or something, that circlet of waterbreathing, daedric gauntlets of lockpicking, some glass boots that let them carry more loot... Especially at the beginning, they always end up a little... mismatched.

I´d like to see a really awkward Dovahkin who has no idea they are doing anything "wrong" and walk into the city in Necromancer robes under some hide armour, paired with some glass boots and a the forsworn headdress for the heck of it. And everyone stares. And the Dovahkin has no idea why...

Romance or not, I don´t really care, as long as it´s amusing and, if possible, silly :D You can make them as weird and unrealistically dressed as you want, no need to use my "combo", I simply wish to see some NPC react to the VERY strange sight of the hero of legend walking around as if they were ripped straight from first era... no, not even then would anyone be THIS colorblind and have no sense for fashion o_0 Don´t care about gender or race :)

Another anon here, interested in filling.

OP, do you realise just what it is you've sparked in this anon's mind? I am most seized with ideas it's almost terrifying.

That was fun! :D

So our DB is happily married, but often away. Their spouse takes to writing them steamy letters and hiding them in their pack. They've done it two or three times before, but the Dragonborn never mentioned it upon their return home.

Say the DB finds the letters all at once, reads them and rushes home in a fog of lust. Their partner knows just what they like, and the letters hit all the right notes.

Note: DB doesn't have to get home in the story, just be inspired to drop all by the letters from their spouse. More interested in the letters than anything else, but a reunion scene could be a lovely end.

Yay for het or femslash, and some fluffiness

Nay for non-con, gore, and bathroom related stuff

Harbinger-

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I want to fuck you.
...
Oodley-doo?

Come home soon.

-Farkas

Passerby!Anon totally stopped in her tracks, lost her balance, fell over, then crawled forward for more, totally forgetting what she had been looking for in the first place. A!A, you're amazing, keep up the good work. This fill is just perfect. You write all the characters so well! In fact, you even developed them - spectacularly. I salute your writing skills.

This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. 10/10! Thank you so much, OP and A!A.

The Dragonborn finds a very odd dungeon. It has nasties crawling around inside, just like every other. But it sort of feels like there is a Word Wall. There's even Dragon Priest designs on the walls... but these ones are oddly more sexual than the ones he's found before.

He gets to the main treasure room - and finds a feeldoe on a plinth. It looks like it's been carved from some gemstone, semi-transparent and gleaming. It also isn't shaped like any cock he's ever seen. It has all these ridges and nubs, it's rather imposing and aggressive. The way it chants to him though, he's sure it's sculpted in the likeliness of a dragon's cock.

... Loot it loot. Plus, it looks gorgeous. The longer he looks at it the more he wants to put it in his LI.

Skip to some tavern or house where DB and LI are getting frisky - DB talks LI into letting him try it out. He puts it on - and it allows him to feel everything as if the feeldoe was his flesh and blood.

Bonus points if it's impossible to remove afterwards.

es:skyrim prompt:filled char:F!DB char: brynjolf relationship:het kink:roughsex kink:voice kink:fingering

The golden statue was in arms reach. For once luck was with us, it seemed. Maybe Delvin will finally stop blathering on about that curse when I return with this beauty. I shot a grin over my shoulder towards Brynjolf, who was rather grudgingly looking impressed, and took another step towards the plinth in the centre of the room. As my foot landed a loud click reverberated around the chamber.

In slow motion I saw the fragile pottery vase drop, straight into the oil filled puddle I was standing in. But it was far too late for me to do anything other than try desperately to cast FlameCloak in the deluded hope that that might protect me. What a pathetic way for the Dragonborn to die. The spell died out as Brynjolf slammed into me, trying to knock me out of the way. The blast of fire roared over us and my nose filled with the acrid stench of burning leather. My eyes widened with the growing realisation...
"Bryn? We're on fire."
He grinned down at me, euphoric with surviving, "You said it, lass."
I pushed him off me and scrambled to my knees, slapping at the flames that were merrily burning his oil soaked leathers, "No, we really are on fire, you idiot."
Brynjolf cursed and began rolling on the floor, trying to smother the flames and I turned my attention to my own fires. They weren't dying down and I was now started to feel the pain of the burns so I began stripping, yanking my boots off. Besides me I could hear Brynjolf doing the same. By the Nine, I wish I'd bothered to learn an ice spell. When I was naked I glanced down, checking myself. Not too bad. Just surface burns. A brief, vain panic had me pull my hair out of it's tie, checking it was all still there but fortunately the hood had protected it. Then I turned to Bryn. Who was naked. Our eyes met and then against my will my gaze was dragged down. My cheeks flushed involuntarily and I resisted the urge to spin back around. Right, nothing awkward here. "You need healing."

Brynjolf was now studiously staring at the still burning pool of oil, "Heal yourself first, lass. I'll take a healing potion. I think there was one in the bottom of my…." His voice trailed off and following his gaze I spotted the smoking remains of both of our packs. Which had my spare clothes in. Shit. Not good.

Bryn was silent and that scared me. In all the time I'd known him, he'd always been the joker who kept his cool in any situation. Which meant that I, in turn, despite being a rookie thief thrown in way over her head, kept calm too. In fact I'd even made a personal motto that had helped me through some tight spots; What would Brynjolf do? Mind you the answer to that question was always; Make a joke.

"Well, I don't think this adventure will go into the 'Top Ten Greatest Heists Ever By The Supremely Awesome Dragonborn.'" It was a weak attempt but it was all I had at that moment. Brynjolf just stared at me darkly for a second and then the switch flipped and my Funny Brynjolf was back, "I don't know, lass. I was thinking the chapter could go like, 'and the Dragonborn was too occupied with how her handsome and charming companion Brynjolf was so much better than her and that she could never live up to such a great thief, that she didn't notice the great big lake filled with oil that spread across the whole room or hear the click of the very-obviously-completely-different-from-all-the-rest floor tile as pottery vase that was dangling right in front of her nose fell into the lake setting the whole place on fire and more importantly destroying all of their clothes.'"
"I don't know, that's a bit of a long and awkward sentence. I don't think the Bards College would approve. Besides I can't put lies in my book-"
"What lies? It's all true."
"Nah, for starters you're a redhead. Redheads can't be called handsome. It's, like, a fact Bryn. Sorry," I grinned at him to let him know I was joking as I gathered healing energy and began healing Brynjolf and then myself.

"What? I'm handsome! I'm all manly and-" He broke off as I let out a snort of laughter, mostly at the whining tone of his voice, though I guess he didn't know that. Then it was my turn to study the now dying flames as he turned towards me and walked right into my personal space. Well, this is awkward. I was blushing like a maiden and out of the corner of my eye I saw Brynjolf's eyes narrow in the way that normally meant he'd found a nice juicy target to rob.

"So do you like anything about me sexually?" He was close enough that I could feel his body heat in the cold air of the tomb. I hadn't been touched by a man since I arrived in Skyrim, unless you count my fist connecting with their face as touching, and whilst a small part of me was screaming that it was Brynjolf it was being drowned out by the growing level of arousal.
"I like it when you call me 'lass.'" I was only half-joking.
"Oh, well, I'll have to do something about that." He reached out and tilted my chin up, thumb pressing down on my bottom lip to slightly pull my mouth open, my eyes flickered shut to savour his touch. "Lass."

My eyes slammed open and I deliberately bit down on his thumb before suckling on it with my tongue. Brynjolf's hands ran up my sides before sliding in to roughly squeeze my breasts as he backed me towards the closed lid of one of the waist-high sarcophagi at the side of the room. I could feel his arousal brushing against me as we moved. As the back of my ass met the cold stone Brynjolf picked me up until I was perched on the edge and roughly jerked my knees apart. His eyes, darkened with lust, flickered down to my glistening sex and he smirked, "All wet for me, lass?" I whimpered and Brynjolf slid his fingers along my slit, stroking and teasing before sliding one inside, thumb stroking over my clit. Another finger soon followed the first and I couldn't stop my moans or the roll of hips as I fucked myself on his fingers. Brynjolf leaned forward, roughly kissing and biting my neck, making his way down to my sensitive breast, fingers never pausing in their relentless torture, "Do you like that, lass?"
I moaned, my peak coming ever closer, barely able to form coherent thought, clutching desperately to his hair, "Yes."
"Tell me what you like."
"You. In me." The waves were crashing down around me, drowning me in utter oblivion. The world had narrowed down to pure pleasure and Brynjolf's fingers stroking over and over and over. I threw my head back as I came.

When I had finished, Bryn's fingers slid out of me and I flickered my eyes open in time to see Brynjolf lick them clean, "You taste good, lass." I gave a small laugh, running my eyes down his lithe body, embarrassment now gone, to stare at his throbbing erection. I slid down shakily off the sarcophagus, still panting. Brynjolf and I stared at each other, somewhat unsure of what to do next. If it had been anyone else, anyone who was a lover I would have kissed them, caressed them. But that felt totally wrong here somehow, like we would be crossing some unspeakable line. This wasn't about love or care or even friendship for either of us. This was about sex, pure and simple. Dark animalistic needs. And to be honest if this was going to fuck up our friendship then by Oblivion we were going to fuck it up properly. So I gave Brynjolf a wink and a grin before turning round to bend over the cold stone. He stepped back in close beside me, hands running over my body, squeezing and kneading my cheeks hard enough that I suspected would leave me with a few bruises later. One hand pressed me down into the cold stone, the other stroking my hip in an almost gentle motion. The head of his erection teased my slit, sliding between my inner lips, still sensitive from my climax. I moaned at the sensation and Brynjolf leaned over me, "Do you want me to fuck you?"
I nodded, trying to press my body back into his but Brynjolf merely pulled away, "Uh uh, lass. Beg me." His penis returned to rub against me, brushing against my clit.
"Bryn…" I growled, throwing him a glare over my shoulder. He smirked, the hand on my hip sliding round to caress my clit, "Hmmm?"
The emptiness inside me was driving me insane.
"Brynjolf…" Damn it, there was no way that I was going to beg. "Fuck me. Now."
"Lass…" There was a warning tone in his voice.
"Brynjolf, just hurry up and fuck me already."
He lightly spanked me, making me squeal in surprise. "Don't test my patience, lass"
I let out my breath in a sigh, pride warring with desire. A few more light spanks to my backside and desire won. Again. "Please, Bryn." My voice was whiny with need, and I knew I must look a state, sprawled out and writhing over a sarcophagus, begging to be fucked. "Fuck me. I need you to fuck me."
He groaned and slid into me in one slick thrust, barely giving me time to adjust before he started rocking into me hard and fast, a furious tempo that left me clutching at the edge of the stone lid. His hand was still holding me down so I could barely move back, I just had to lie there I had never felt this powerless in sex and a dark, buried part of me uncoiled in my mind, revelling in the rising pleasure my body was feeling. I could feel my orgasm building and behind me Bryn's thrusts were becoming harder and more erratic as his peak drew near. He slid his free hand back down to my clit and began rubbing, murmuring in my ear, "Come for me, lass."

And I did.

My twitching walls tightened around him as he too cried out, his semen splashing inside me, filling me up. His fingers were pressed tightly to my hips and he remained inside me until he softened, slipping out with a splash of seed trickling down my thigh. I just lay there, cheek pressed to the welcome cold of the stone, exhausted but satisfied, barely able to think. Brynjolf slid his back down the sarcophagus, sitting on the floor to catch his breath with a hint of a smirk on his face. When enough energy returned to move I copied him, pulling my knees into my chest so that we were sat side by side. The silence felt totally awkward and alien between the two of us. I wanted to say something but was aware that one wrong word would ruin everything. What do you say to a friend who's just fucked the living daylights out of you?

I shot a nervous glance at Brynjolf just as he turned to look at me, looking equally petrified. A nervous smile spread across my face and my lips twitched as I fought laughter at just how stupid the situation was. It's laugh or cry. So I went with laugh. Bryn looked startled as the chuckle echoed round the room before finally grinning and looping an arm over my shoulder and mussing up my hair. "So, I'm thinking we don't tell anyone about this."
"Not even a chapter in your book?"
"It's the 'Top Ten Greatest Heists Ever By The Supremely Awesome Dragonborn' not the 'Lusty Dragonborn Maid.' Besides the other members of the Guild, including the lovely Tonila who you've been busy fucking behind Vekel's back, already think I'm your favourite and that I get special treatment."
"You are my favourite and you did just get special trea-ow!" He broke off as I playfully punched his arm, mock glaring at him. "Alright, lass, consider me sworn to secrecy."
I pulled myself to my feet and extended a hand to the red-haired thief. A tentative gesture of friendship. I wasn't sure that things would ever truly go back to how they'd been before and in some ways it felt like we had to rebuild our relationship. Bryn took it and allowed me to pull him up. I gathered our weapons, leaving the charred remnants of our packs and armour whilst Brynjolf took the statue that had rested on its plinth the whole time. As we made our way towards the stair leading towards the exit Brynjolf spoke, "You know, the lads have got a pool going on who fucks you first..."
"They what?!"
"I'm thinking we could split the gold- 50/50…."
"No!"
"Come on…"
"Brynjolf, no."
"It's a hundred gold."
"Don't make me Shout, Bryn."
"Fine. Spoilsport."
Somehow, I thought, we'd survive.

Hahaha, natural causes, of course. Drowning is natural, right?

This is perfect. I would read more of Thaddeus and Lydia's Thalmor-killing adventures any day of the week.

What above anon said - this fill is brilliant!

I just found this - and snorted it, with zero regrets. This fill is amazing and I will eagerly look forward to more!

So are rockslides, burning trees, bear attacks (bears are natural) and decapitation ("It's only natural to stop living after you've got your head cut off," so says Lydia).

There was also that one time before Thaddeus became a Tribune, but as the record will show, it was suicide. Thirty-two stab wounds in the back; worst case of suicide he or Lydia ever saw.

I might or might not be working up further Things What Happen In The Imperial Forces In Skyrim, depending on what ideas come. A!A is much pleased to know that you've all enjoyed it. :D

I'd love to see a story where Tullius and Rikke go to humorously ridiculous lengths to cover for the Dragonborn who helped the Empire win the civil war but still kills every Thalmor he/she comes across.

Oh, my yes, please! I'll take any and all fills I can get (that sounded dirtyier than intended)

Meme Announcements!

Stray 3/3

Re: DB + LI Unexpected Nudity Leads to Smut

Re: Songs For Nomads: Prologue

Re: F!DB/Tullius

Re: DB + LI Unexpected Nudity Leads to Smut

Re: Sex in the Dragonsreach dungeons

No Fashion Sense - The Socially Retarded and Awkward Dovahkin

Re: New Questline - The Other Kind of "Companion"

Re: The True Importance Of The Concordat (An Epilogue)

Happily Married DB

Microfill

Re: Nightshade and Juniper 10.10

Re: Freedom - Minifill

FtM!Dragonborn and the mystical feeldoe

Sex on Fire: 1/?

Re: Sex on Fire: 2/?

Re: Sex on Fire: 3/5

Re: Sex on Fire: 4/5

Re: Sex on Fire: 5/5

Re: The True Importance Of The Concordat (An Epilogue)

Re: A Shadow in Solitude Tullius/F!PC [1d/?]

Re: In the Company of Wolves F!DB/M!Nord [3e/?]

Re: The True Importance Of The Concordat (An Epilogue)

Tullius+Rikke

Re: DB + LI Unexpected Nudity Leads to Smut OP here