Karliah had vanished and Brynjolf was busy rifling through the Guild books with Delvin and Vex, already planning the next steps for the Guild. He hadn't seen me. Most of the others were fast asleep so I slipped over to the ladder leading to the exit and the figure tucked into one of the cots nearby. I gently shook the bundle until it rolled over, mumbling.
"Sapphire?" I murmured, "Can I talk to you? In private?"
She sat up scowling, though it faded at my expression, nodding before sitting up and pulling on her boots and jacket. I lead her out the Cistern and onto the Ratway docks. The cool dawn air felt refreshing after the warmth of the Cistern and I could hear the birds beginning their morning chorus in the wilderness outside. It almost felt peaceful. For Riften anyways. Sapphire still hadn't spoken, waiting for me to speak first. I felt strangely nervous, as if I had done something wrong….
I swallowed nervously, rubbing my hands on my leather-covered legs, "So, umm, I don't know how to ...I…I was raped. At Irkngthand. By Mercer Frey and his cronies. I was stupid and I screwed up and they caught me." I pressed my lips together, unable to say more.
"Fuck," Sapphire was staring at me, jaw locked tight as though she was fighting unwanted memories of her own. I gave a bitter snort of agreement, face locked in a grimace, turning to sit with my feet dangling over the dock, just skimming the filthy water of the canal. After a minute I felt Sapphire sit beside me.
"Any chance you could be pregnant?"
My eyes flew to hers. I hadn't…Shit...Please Divines, don't let me be…
"I don't know." The thought filled me with terror.
"OK, wait here a minute." Sapphire stood and strode off rapidly round the edge of the walkway, leaving me frantically counting dates. Sapphire was back shortly, carrying a small sack filled with clinking potion bottles. She knelt next to me, placing the first bottle in between us, "Drink all of this now." Fear made me comply, downing the foul tasting liquid in one. "You take one of these each morning for a week. Then if your moon blood hasn't come take this one for a week." She held each potion up, making sure I understood. I nodded, dull relief soothing the panic, "Thank you Sapphire." She held my gaze, "Sometimes the potions don't work. It's rare but I have heard of it. If your blood doesn't come for three months tell me. There's an apothecary in the woods near here that's been known to help women who are in trouble."
I dragged my gaze over to a rat nesting on a island of floating rubbish, nodding dully.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. Yes." I gave a self-deprecating scoff, "I don't know."
She sighed, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, "I told you about me, right? The bandits that took me…"
Her voice was quiet, pained and I felt slightly guilty for making her relive it. I had had one horrible brutal experience, she had had two weeks of it. I nodded.
"I never told you the worst part. The worst part was that they made me enjoy it. It made me feel so dirty and I hated myself for some time after. I still do in some ways. Don't be like that." I didn't respond, still staring off into the distance. She stood up, sighing softly, "When you're ready to talk come find me." She paused as she turned to leave, "Did you kill them all at least?" I turned my head to look at her, nodding, a cold, satisfied smile twisting my lips. "Good." Then she was gone slipping back into darkness of the tunnel leading to the Cistern.