A/N: I've had a crappy week with RL problems (in addition to the drama going on here ;) )and writing this chapter helped take my mind off it. I was going to take most of it out because it's a bit of a distraction to the main storyline and doesn't really add anything overall but hopefully it reflects Igne's changing (and not for the better) mental state :s
And a big thank you once again to all you lovely Anons <3
13. Wake
I headed to the tiny bunk room all the whelps shared where I washed and dressed rapidly in civilian clothes, kicking my discarded nightshirt to the bed. The mixed feelings of guilt, anger and grief had me in a dark mood and I slammed my fist into the wall in a futile attempt to release it. It didn't work, leaving me cradling my hand and cursing like a Riften fishwife. I didn't bother to heal it, the dull ache acting as a distraction and deep inside me I could feel the Beastblood stirring at the pain and anger, yearning to be free. My mind felt like a scattered mess. No, it was more than that; I felt lost, overwhelmed. Sinking down onto my tiny bed I rested my head in my hands, focusing on my breathing, trying to regain control.
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Breathe-
A cough at the door interrupted me and I glanced up to see Torvar leaning against the door jamb, "Kodlak wants to speak to us all upstairs, Igne. He sent me to get you." "Right." I hauled myself wearily to my feet. Torvar was still half-blocking the door, a concerned look in his eye. "What actually happened, Igne?" I froze. I wasn't sure what Kodlak had told the others, or how much they knew about the Circle's secret and about the Silver Hand. "Please, tell us. All we know is Vilkas comes back with you half-dead in his arms and then Farkas arrives and tell us that Skjor's dead. The Circle won't tell us anything." "I can't, Torvar. Ask Kodlak." "We have. He's saying nothing. We need some answers, Igne." I grimaced, "We were out on a mission and we got ambushed. They captured Skjor and me and Vilkas, Aela and Farkas rescued us. That's all I can say." He still wasn't happy, I could tell, but he rolled off the door-frame to lead me up the stairs and into the hall.
Upstairs the entirety of Jorrvaskr had gathered in a loose circle around the fire, faces sombre and withdrawn. Instantly my eyes sought out Vilkas, kicking myself at the flush that went through my body as his dark gaze met mine. Aela was there, separated from Vilkas by his brother and Kodlak, still pale but with a simmering anger discernible even from across the hall.
Torvar pulled me into the circle to stand in-between Brill and himself as we waited for Kodlak to begin.
Kodlak looked weary, dark bags under his eyes, and his voice was quiet, "We have lost a brother this day. Skjor personified the honour of the Companions and his heart beat fiercely with courage. His loss diminishes us all but know that Skjor will not be forgotten, his name and his deeds will echo through the hall of Jorrvaskr for eternity, an inspiration to all and our words and deeds will honour his memory. We will not forget." The low murmur echoed all around as we joined our voices, "We will not forget."
Kodlak let the silence stretch out a moment longer before he spoke again, "This is a day where our souls must cry, and our hearts will answer. Go. Grieve in whatever way you know."
Call of the Blood 13.1/?
And a big thank you once again to all you lovely Anons <3
I headed to the tiny bunk room all the whelps shared where I washed and dressed rapidly in civilian clothes, kicking my discarded nightshirt to the bed. The mixed feelings of guilt, anger and grief had me in a dark mood and I slammed my fist into the wall in a futile attempt to release it. It didn't work, leaving me cradling my hand and cursing like a Riften fishwife. I didn't bother to heal it, the dull ache acting as a distraction and deep inside me I could feel the Beastblood stirring at the pain and anger, yearning to be free. My mind felt like a scattered mess. No, it was more than that; I felt lost, overwhelmed. Sinking down onto my tiny bed I rested my head in my hands, focusing on my breathing, trying to regain control.
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Breathe-
A cough at the door interrupted me and I glanced up to see Torvar leaning against the door jamb, "Kodlak wants to speak to us all upstairs, Igne. He sent me to get you."
"Right." I hauled myself wearily to my feet. Torvar was still half-blocking the door, a concerned look in his eye.
"What actually happened, Igne?"
I froze. I wasn't sure what Kodlak had told the others, or how much they knew about the Circle's secret and about the Silver Hand.
"Please, tell us. All we know is Vilkas comes back with you half-dead in his arms and then Farkas arrives and tell us that Skjor's dead. The Circle won't tell us anything."
"I can't, Torvar. Ask Kodlak."
"We have. He's saying nothing. We need some answers, Igne."
I grimaced, "We were out on a mission and we got ambushed. They captured Skjor and me and Vilkas, Aela and Farkas rescued us. That's all I can say."
He still wasn't happy, I could tell, but he rolled off the door-frame to lead me up the stairs and into the hall.
Upstairs the entirety of Jorrvaskr had gathered in a loose circle around the fire, faces sombre and withdrawn. Instantly my eyes sought out Vilkas, kicking myself at the flush that went through my body as his dark gaze met mine. Aela was there, separated from Vilkas by his brother and Kodlak, still pale but with a simmering anger discernible even from across the hall.
Torvar pulled me into the circle to stand in-between Brill and himself as we waited for Kodlak to begin.
Kodlak looked weary, dark bags under his eyes, and his voice was quiet, "We have lost a brother this day. Skjor personified the honour of the Companions and his heart beat fiercely with courage. His loss diminishes us all but know that Skjor will not be forgotten, his name and his deeds will echo through the hall of Jorrvaskr for eternity, an inspiration to all and our words and deeds will honour his memory. We will not forget."
The low murmur echoed all around as we joined our voices, "We will not forget."
Kodlak let the silence stretch out a moment longer before he spoke again, "This is a day where our souls must cry, and our hearts will answer. Go. Grieve in whatever way you know."