“Aye,” Kodlak sighed, stepping away and sitting down at the small table he had there, picking up a bottle of mead and taking a drink from it. “I know. I didn't forget you telling me that. I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished. I just wish I hadn't had to.”
“Well, I'm glad you did,” Shevawna said, finally feeling brave enough to take the other chair and join him. “I know you and the Matriarch are friends, and I would not kill a friend of hers for anything, but even if you were not... I do not think I would kill you.”
“Thank you,” Kodlak said, inclining his head in a way that told he knew what the Forsworn meant by that. “Now, are you all right?”
Shevawna nodded, although she was by no means sure of that. Kodlak didn't look convinced either but he didn't push the point.
“If it's any consolation, it is not entirely Vilkas's fault,” Kodlak sighed. “Nor is it yours, I hasten to add – you are not his lover and you did not know, and if you wish to enjoy someone else's freely given companionship, that's no one's business but yours. Was it anyone in the city, out of interest? I need to make sure Vilkas doesn't do anything foolish that will involve embarrassing conversations with the Jarl.”
Privately, Shevawna felt that if Vilkas did beat up innocent citizenry, it was entirely his own fault, but she didn't want to embarrass Kodlak either.
“No, it was someone at Keirine's camp,” Shevawna sighed. “He was nice and could sing and offered to cook me dinner. So I stayed in his tent, and I don't regret a thing.”
“Nor should you, you're only young once,” Kodlak laughed. “Don't let Vilkas's reaction put you off, the rest of us don't care what you get up to on your own time. Alas, I fear Vilkas may have had intentions towards you and realising you'd been with someone else... prompted an unfortunate overreaction.”
Could have been quite unfortunate for Vilkas if the others hadn't stepped in, but that did beg the question... how had he known? She asked Kodlak this, wondering what had given it away.
“Ah, well, you see, Vilkas is labouring under a... condition,” Kodlak said, coughing rather awkwardly. “One of the side effects is heightened senses – I imagine he could smell the scent of the other man on you. One of the other effects is heightened emotions. Sometimes it clouds his mind and he does not entirely know himself. He was always a boy of strong emotions, a gentle poetic soul at heart – but his father wanted a warrior and drove Vilkas hard. I did what I could to amend the damage but alas, I fear I've not done as well as I could wish. Now he is a grown man, and he's acquired an affliction that takes all that and makes it worse. It takes all his strength to keep it at bay... but sometimes it slips.”
Acquired an affliction. Shevawna recognised a euphemism when she heard one. That was what people would say when prisoners got out of Cidhna Mine and came home, pale, gaunt, shadows of their former selves, terse and argumentative and fearing sunlight and wide open spaces and craving Skooma and arguing with everyone. Sometimes they settled and were able to return to something close to a normal life. Sometimes they took their fury out on the Nords and found peace through death. Others took the Briar, accepting the loss of emotions that burned and burned and wouldn't stop as a price worth paying – a benefit in fact.
Others managed none of that and had to be put down. Shevawna had seen it happen, the first time as a small girl of five asking her mother why Rhysan was being executed.
Re: Blood (Magic)'s Honour 3.8
“Well, I'm glad you did,” Shevawna said, finally feeling brave enough to take the other chair and join him. “I know you and the Matriarch are friends, and I would not kill a friend of hers for anything, but even if you were not... I do not think I would kill you.”
“Thank you,” Kodlak said, inclining his head in a way that told he knew what the Forsworn meant by that. “Now, are you all right?”
Shevawna nodded, although she was by no means sure of that. Kodlak didn't look convinced either but he didn't push the point.
“If it's any consolation, it is not entirely Vilkas's fault,” Kodlak sighed. “Nor is it yours, I hasten to add – you are not his lover and you did not know, and if you wish to enjoy someone else's freely given companionship, that's no one's business but yours. Was it anyone in the city, out of interest? I need to make sure Vilkas doesn't do anything foolish that will involve embarrassing conversations with the Jarl.”
Privately, Shevawna felt that if Vilkas did beat up innocent citizenry, it was entirely his own fault, but she didn't want to embarrass Kodlak either.
“No, it was someone at Keirine's camp,” Shevawna sighed. “He was nice and could sing and offered to cook me dinner. So I stayed in his tent, and I don't regret a thing.”
“Nor should you, you're only young once,” Kodlak laughed. “Don't let Vilkas's reaction put you off, the rest of us don't care what you get up to on your own time. Alas, I fear Vilkas may have had intentions towards you and realising you'd been with someone else... prompted an unfortunate overreaction.”
Could have been quite unfortunate for Vilkas if the others hadn't stepped in, but that did beg the question... how had he known? She asked Kodlak this, wondering what had given it away.
“Ah, well, you see, Vilkas is labouring under a... condition,” Kodlak said, coughing rather awkwardly. “One of the side effects is heightened senses – I imagine he could smell the scent of the other man on you. One of the other effects is heightened emotions. Sometimes it clouds his mind and he does not entirely know himself. He was always a boy of strong emotions, a gentle poetic soul at heart – but his father wanted a warrior and drove Vilkas hard. I did what I could to amend the damage but alas, I fear I've not done as well as I could wish. Now he is a grown man, and he's acquired an affliction that takes all that and makes it worse. It takes all his strength to keep it at bay... but sometimes it slips.”
Acquired an affliction. Shevawna recognised a euphemism when she heard one. That was what people would say when prisoners got out of Cidhna Mine and came home, pale, gaunt, shadows of their former selves, terse and argumentative and fearing sunlight and wide open spaces and craving Skooma and arguing with everyone. Sometimes they settled and were able to return to something close to a normal life. Sometimes they took their fury out on the Nords and found peace through death. Others took the Briar, accepting the loss of emotions that burned and burned and wouldn't stop as a price worth paying – a benefit in fact.
Others managed none of that and had to be put down. Shevawna had seen it happen, the first time as a small girl of five asking her mother why Rhysan was being executed.