“She's still grieving Torygg,” Erandur said, also relieved to get off the topic of Hagravens. “She's not ready for another lover, won't be for a while. I told him that when I first got here. She loved her husband, saw him brutally killed in front of her, it's not something you just move on from. But he seems to think she'll get over it eventually and if he just makes sure he's there, she'll choose him. I told him it didn't work like that, but he's a very stubborn man.”
“He is,” Aranea said calmly, faint smile on her face. “But that doesn't mean he's wrong. I saw them together in one of Azura's visions. On their wedding day. Lying in an expensive bed somewhere, her nestled asleep in his arms while he just holds her and smiles at her. Him with tears in his eyes as he holds their first child. I don't know if it'll ever happen, the visions are sometimes just what might be, not what will be. But they were happy together. Has Elisif actually said she's not interested? Because Madanach's not an idiot, in fact he's usually extremely perceptive.”
“She said it would never work, that she'd like to be able to go to Torygg in the afterlife not having been unfaithful. That she's after a loveless marriage just to get heirs,” Erandur sighed. “And there's no way Madanach would ever let her have that if she married him, he'd be constantly trying to seduce her. She's right about that at least. But as for the rest – I know she's still grieving, but marrying while intending for there to be no love... It's an affront to Mara. I can't tell her that to her face, I know she's still hurting. But it is, Aranea. Mara has her own ways and her own wisdom, it's not for us to fight it. She knows what's best for us. I wish Elisif could just see that and open her heart to the possibility of loving again. As it is, all I can do is pray she'll be healed enough one day to see it.”
“She will,” Aranea said, smiling at some secret knowledge, some vision she'd seen most like. “You really believe it, don't you? That Mara knows better than we do what's good for us. That we shouldn't fight love.”
“Ye-es,” Erandur said, not liking that look in her eyes. “Aranea, where is this going – mmph!”
She'd leaned forward, taken his head in her hands and kissed him. Erandur reached out blindly, trying to push her away, only for his hand to wind up on her breast. He leapt back like she'd shocked him.
“Don't,” Erandur rasped, wiping his mouth. “I didn't mean-!”
“No?” Aranea said, frowning. “You think Mara knows best for everyone except you? That people shouldn't fight love, apart from you?”
“Aranea...” Erandur said, starting to panic. “Aranea, stop it, we can't...”
“Why not?” Aranea demanded, red eyes flashing with anger. “I love you, Erandur, and I'm tired of hiding it. I missed you. I saw visions of you and wished I could go after you, but my faith in Azura held me back. Except now she's let me go and I don't have to hold back any more. I just don't understand why you still are!”
“I'm old enough to be your father!” Erandur cried. Aranea just shrugged.
“Madanach is old enough to be Elisif's father, that's not stopped him,” she pointed out.
“That's because he's a heathen old reprobate,” Erandur sighed. “I'm meant to be better than that. I'm meant to be atoning!”
“You've spent years, decades, atoning,” Aranea cried. “Haven't you done enough? Isn't Mara the forgiving type? The benevolent and loving type? Hasn't she forgiven you yet?”
“Of course she has, but it's not enough!” Erandur said, wondering why Aranea couldn't see it. Mara loved everyone, even the unworthy, but that didn't mean he wasn't still unworthy.
“Why not,” Aranea said quietly. “Are you saying Mara's wrong?”
Re: The Wolf Queen Awakens 29.7
“He is,” Aranea said calmly, faint smile on her face. “But that doesn't mean he's wrong. I saw them together in one of Azura's visions. On their wedding day. Lying in an expensive bed somewhere, her nestled asleep in his arms while he just holds her and smiles at her. Him with tears in his eyes as he holds their first child. I don't know if it'll ever happen, the visions are sometimes just what might be, not what will be. But they were happy together. Has Elisif actually said she's not interested? Because Madanach's not an idiot, in fact he's usually extremely perceptive.”
“She said it would never work, that she'd like to be able to go to Torygg in the afterlife not having been unfaithful. That she's after a loveless marriage just to get heirs,” Erandur sighed. “And there's no way Madanach would ever let her have that if she married him, he'd be constantly trying to seduce her. She's right about that at least. But as for the rest – I know she's still grieving, but marrying while intending for there to be no love... It's an affront to Mara. I can't tell her that to her face, I know she's still hurting. But it is, Aranea. Mara has her own ways and her own wisdom, it's not for us to fight it. She knows what's best for us. I wish Elisif could just see that and open her heart to the possibility of loving again. As it is, all I can do is pray she'll be healed enough one day to see it.”
“She will,” Aranea said, smiling at some secret knowledge, some vision she'd seen most like. “You really believe it, don't you? That Mara knows better than we do what's good for us. That we shouldn't fight love.”
“Ye-es,” Erandur said, not liking that look in her eyes. “Aranea, where is this going – mmph!”
She'd leaned forward, taken his head in her hands and kissed him. Erandur reached out blindly, trying to push her away, only for his hand to wind up on her breast. He leapt back like she'd shocked him.
“Don't,” Erandur rasped, wiping his mouth. “I didn't mean-!”
“No?” Aranea said, frowning. “You think Mara knows best for everyone except you? That people shouldn't fight love, apart from you?”
“Aranea...” Erandur said, starting to panic. “Aranea, stop it, we can't...”
“Why not?” Aranea demanded, red eyes flashing with anger. “I love you, Erandur, and I'm tired of hiding it. I missed you. I saw visions of you and wished I could go after you, but my faith in Azura held me back. Except now she's let me go and I don't have to hold back any more. I just don't understand why you still are!”
“I'm old enough to be your father!” Erandur cried. Aranea just shrugged.
“Madanach is old enough to be Elisif's father, that's not stopped him,” she pointed out.
“That's because he's a heathen old reprobate,” Erandur sighed. “I'm meant to be better than that. I'm meant to be atoning!”
“You've spent years, decades, atoning,” Aranea cried. “Haven't you done enough? Isn't Mara the forgiving type? The benevolent and loving type? Hasn't she forgiven you yet?”
“Of course she has, but it's not enough!” Erandur said, wondering why Aranea couldn't see it. Mara loved everyone, even the unworthy, but that didn't mean he wasn't still unworthy.
“Why not,” Aranea said quietly. “Are you saying Mara's wrong?”