“You chose to kill someone,” Madanach said, surprised. Now that was a change, Elisif had never struck him as the type to enjoy killing for its own sake. It was a duty she was always reluctant to carry out. He wondered what had changed. “Who was it?”
“Erikur,” Elisif said softly. “He was one of my Thanes. Well, it was Istlod who first Thaned him, I just inherited him. And I killed him in my own palace.”
“I see,” Madanach murmured, still stroking her hair. “What did he do? I can't see you randomly walking up to a man and stabbing him, still less them just letting you walk away after, even if you are Jarl.”
“It was him who took the contract out on me,” Elisif whispered. “His name was in the Brotherhood's ledger, Brynjolf and Karliah delivered it to Falk. They'd just arrested him when I got there. When I saw his name in the ledger, I just... I just lost it, Madanach. I shouted at him, not with the Thu'um, and just shoved Dawnbreaker through his chest. I killed him, Madanach! He was my Thane... and I killed him.”
She was crying quietly again and while Madanach did at least know why now, he still wasn't sure he understood.
“Of course you did,” he murmured into her hair. “If someone had tried to have me killed, I'd have done the same. You didn't do anything wrong!”
“Not the point!” Elisif sobbed. “Maybe he was guilty, probably we'd have executed him anyway, but it didn't need to be me! I could have signed the warrant and let the guards handle it! But I didn't...”
“No,” Madanach whispered to her, pulling her closer. “No, you didn't. You took care of it personally. Always the best way.”
“You would say that, you've killed loads of people,” Elisif whispered. Disapproving and yet here she was, nestled on top of him, apparently quite comfortable and not looking to move any time soon.
“Then why are you confessing to me,” Madanach murmured back, toying with a strand of her hair. “Talk to Erandur, he can do the absolution and forgiving thing. Me, I'm an old warlord who'd do exactly the same and barely think about it later. Why me?”
“Because I'm turning into a monster,” Elisif whispered, shivering all over and clinging to him. “I'm scared I'll go too far. If I go too far... only you can stop me.”
“What are you talking about?” Madanach sighed, baffled. “You're not turning into a monster and I'm sure others could stop you if you were.”
“Not like you,” Elisif whispered, finally looking up and she looked terrified. “You're the one with the army, you're the one who knows how to unseat corrupt Nord rulers, you're not blinded by the whole Dragonborn legend. You've got Cicero as a son-in-law. You can do it, I think you're the only one. And if even you think I've gone too far...”
“Even me?” Madanach said, feeling slightly offended but not enough to really care about. “I'm hurt.”
“You know what I mean,” Elisif whispered. “Well, will you? Stop me?”
“Stop you? Elisif, I don't think it's ever going to be necessary in my lifetime,” Madanach laughed... and then he realised she was serious. Which begged the question, could he do it? Stop her if her dragon blood took over and she started doing more harm than good.
He didn't think he could kill her. Not Elisif, soft and warm and pretty and gentle and presently clinging on to him. But he might be able to make other arrangements... if he had to.
“If I need to, I'll do it,” he promised. “You just go out there and do your thing. In the mean time, I've got your back.”
“Thank you,” Elisif whispered, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek, and Madanach couldn't stop himself gasping and by Sithis, she had to stop doing that. Especially as she was right there, nose barely touching his, eyes fluttering closed and whispering his name... and he definitely wanted to, no doubt about that. But he could also smell the mead on her breath, and maybe she was drunk and emotional and lonely but she wasn't using him to get her fix.
“You need to leave,” Madanach growled, rolling over on to his side and neatly lowering her to the ground. Elisif sat up, looking a bit dazed but nodding.
Re: The Wolf Queen Awakens 29.11
“Erikur,” Elisif said softly. “He was one of my Thanes. Well, it was Istlod who first Thaned him, I just inherited him. And I killed him in my own palace.”
“I see,” Madanach murmured, still stroking her hair. “What did he do? I can't see you randomly walking up to a man and stabbing him, still less them just letting you walk away after, even if you are Jarl.”
“It was him who took the contract out on me,” Elisif whispered. “His name was in the Brotherhood's ledger, Brynjolf and Karliah delivered it to Falk. They'd just arrested him when I got there. When I saw his name in the ledger, I just... I just lost it, Madanach. I shouted at him, not with the Thu'um, and just shoved Dawnbreaker through his chest. I killed him, Madanach! He was my Thane... and I killed him.”
She was crying quietly again and while Madanach did at least know why now, he still wasn't sure he understood.
“Of course you did,” he murmured into her hair. “If someone had tried to have me killed, I'd have done the same. You didn't do anything wrong!”
“Not the point!” Elisif sobbed. “Maybe he was guilty, probably we'd have executed him anyway, but it didn't need to be me! I could have signed the warrant and let the guards handle it! But I didn't...”
“No,” Madanach whispered to her, pulling her closer. “No, you didn't. You took care of it personally. Always the best way.”
“You would say that, you've killed loads of people,” Elisif whispered. Disapproving and yet here she was, nestled on top of him, apparently quite comfortable and not looking to move any time soon.
“Then why are you confessing to me,” Madanach murmured back, toying with a strand of her hair. “Talk to Erandur, he can do the absolution and forgiving thing. Me, I'm an old warlord who'd do exactly the same and barely think about it later. Why me?”
“Because I'm turning into a monster,” Elisif whispered, shivering all over and clinging to him. “I'm scared I'll go too far. If I go too far... only you can stop me.”
“What are you talking about?” Madanach sighed, baffled. “You're not turning into a monster and I'm sure others could stop you if you were.”
“Not like you,” Elisif whispered, finally looking up and she looked terrified. “You're the one with the army, you're the one who knows how to unseat corrupt Nord rulers, you're not blinded by the whole Dragonborn legend. You've got Cicero as a son-in-law. You can do it, I think you're the only one. And if even you think I've gone too far...”
“Even me?” Madanach said, feeling slightly offended but not enough to really care about. “I'm hurt.”
“You know what I mean,” Elisif whispered. “Well, will you? Stop me?”
“Stop you? Elisif, I don't think it's ever going to be necessary in my lifetime,” Madanach laughed... and then he realised she was serious. Which begged the question, could he do it? Stop her if her dragon blood took over and she started doing more harm than good.
He didn't think he could kill her. Not Elisif, soft and warm and pretty and gentle and presently clinging on to him. But he might be able to make other arrangements... if he had to.
“If I need to, I'll do it,” he promised. “You just go out there and do your thing. In the mean time, I've got your back.”
“Thank you,” Elisif whispered, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek, and Madanach couldn't stop himself gasping and by Sithis, she had to stop doing that. Especially as she was right there, nose barely touching his, eyes fluttering closed and whispering his name... and he definitely wanted to, no doubt about that. But he could also smell the mead on her breath, and maybe she was drunk and emotional and lonely but she wasn't using him to get her fix.
“You need to leave,” Madanach growled, rolling over on to his side and neatly lowering her to the ground. Elisif sat up, looking a bit dazed but nodding.