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ANNOUNCEMENTS: UPDATED 12/16/2017

Happy Holidays, fellow Kinkmemers! I have returned and have no reasonable excuse for my absence except LIFE. I will be working on updating the archives. If anyone sees anything amiss, please let me know.

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F!DB/Bolli: "The Things He Lacks" 11/?

[(Anonymous)]

As the cloudy sky above Riften grew darker, Bolli locked up the fishery with a defeated sigh. Nadia hadn’t come back after taking the Mark away from him, and he feared that between this revelation and their botched attempt at sex, their relationship was faltering. For some reason, the thought of losing her made him feel sick to his stomach, even when he tried to push back the feeling, and he hurried back up the docks, hoping to find her in the city.

He didn’t have to look very much. The Breton was standing at Marise’s stall, counting out coins to pay her for a hefty purchase. Bolli’s heart began to pound as he noticed that she was clad in armor for the first time in a while, and he approached her fearfully.

“Nadia,” he began breathlessly. The girl looked up at him, bit her lip, and took him by the hand, leading him to the steps of the temple.

“I was going to come and find you,” she began, her voice trembling. “I’m leaving Riften for a little while. I’ll be back, but I’ve got to go.” Bolli gripped her hands tighter, trying to keep his own voice steady.

“I didn’t sleep with Haelga after the first time I slept with you,” he said. “I haven’t had any need to. You’re all I want.” Despite his best efforts, a tear slid down his face, and Nadia looked down dejectedly. “Nadia, you satisfy me in ways that I can’t even begin to describe.”

“Good for you,” Nadia replied, shaking her head bitterly, “but we’ve let this go too far. I need to leave so we can both remember what this was. You fuck me because your wife doesn’t do anything for you. It’s nothing more than that.”

“Yes, it is.” Bolli looked desperately at the girl in front of him, trying to read her face. “You know you’re the one lying to yourself.” When Nadia said nothing, he nudged her chin up with his thumb. “Stay with me. I promise things will change.” With that, he kissed her, forgetting where he was in the heat of the moment. Nadia’s eyes widened, terrified by the knowledge that people were watching just across the way.

When he pulled away, she turned and walked. Her eyes were fixed on the city gate as she tried to pretend she didn’t feel people looking at her. And Bolli…if she turned back and looked at him, she would go running right back into his arms. She couldn’t have that.

Bolli stood transfixed by the steps, watching her go. It was only when the gate closed behind him that he realized what he had done. And he knew how quickly news traveled in Riften.

When he returned from the Bee and Barb later, Nivenor was in fact waiting for him at the table. When their eyes met, he sighed, and she rose to her feet, eyes narrow.

“How many times?” she asked. Bolli slipped his feet out of his shoes and put his hat aside.

“What?”

“How many times did you sleep with Nadia?” Now he closed his eyes, too tired to feel anything besides a dull regret.

“More than I can count.”

“I see.” Nivenor sighed, standing between Bolli and the stairs. “I should leave you. You didn’t even have the decency to keep it a secret. You kissed her in front of everybody. That’s more than embarrassing.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bolli said quietly. “She’s gone. She left the city.” He paused, a slight anger rising as he looked at Nivenor. “Where would you go if you left me, Nivenor? Back to Valenwood? Who would fund you there? Where would you get all your trinkets and clothes?” Nivenor glared right back, her face twisting with disgust.

“Goodnight, Bolli,” she replied simply, before climbing up the stairs to their bedroom. Bolli followed her up all the same, too worn out to care.

Re: F!DB/Bolli: "The Things He Lacks" 11/?

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, noooo!!! This is heart breaking! I'm on the edge of my seat, though! I can't wait to see what happens next!

F!DB/Bolli: "The Things He Lacks" 12/?

[(Anonymous)]

Two months had passed before Bolli finally gave in and started asking around the city for his missing lover. He had kept as quiet as he could before, both to keep Nivenor sated and to keep the nature of his relationship with Nadia as private as he could. The latter didn’t exactly matter at that point, considering how many people had witnessed and talked about their kiss in front of the temple, but he was doing his best to keep his head down. He worked, he wrote business deals, he drank occasionally, and he returned to his wife at the end of the day.

But today, he dared to go up to Madesi’s stall and speak up for the first time in weeks.

“Madesi,” he began cautiously. The Argonian looked up, eying the fisherman curiously.

“Here to buy something?” he asked.

“Not today. I actually have a question for you.” Bolli paused, looking around for eavesdroppers before speaking up again. “You and Nadia are friends, right?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Madesi cut in, shaking his head. “She hasn’t been here, Bolli. Why would she be?” The fisherman’s shoulders slumped.

“I don’t know,” he began, only for the merchant across from him to speak up again.

“You kissed her in public, Bolli. Half the city was there to see you do it. You had to know that it was a mistake.” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “I respect you, but this isn’t my problem. I’d appreciate it if you leave me out of your affair from now on.” Bolli nodded wordlessly, turning away from the stall.

Despite his wounded pride, he moved on to Marise’s stall, smiling weakly at her as she organized her goods. To his relief, she smiled back at him, stepping aside to show off her product.

“Lots of new food in today,” she said. “Would you like any samples?” Before he could answer, she broke off a small bite of salmon and handed it to him.

“Appreciate it, Marise. Can I talk to you about something?” When the elf nodded, he looked around again, making a bit of awkward eye contact with Edda before continuing. “Have you seen Nadia recently?” Marise frowned, the discomfort obvious in her face.

“Bolli…Nivenor gives me enough trouble as it is, without me helping you cheat on her. I haven’t seen her, anyway. Last time she came by, she was stocking up for a long trip.” She paused, her face softening. “I’m sorry, Bolli. I’m sure you two had something special, but…she isn’t coming back.” The Nord looked at her, his expression stony, and nodded.

“I know. But that won’t stop me from worrying until I hear something,” he said bluntly, before walking away and leaving her apologetic at the cart.

He settled for sitting at one of the back tables at the Bee and Barb, doing his best to drink away the thought of the elusive Breton. At the table next to him, Mjoll offered him a small, encouraging smile, and he forced himself to smile back, nodding his acknowledgement. Before he could say anything to her, however, his drinking was interrupted.

“It’s been a while, Bolli,” Haelga said sweetly, taking a seat across from him. “I’ve missed you…and that pretty tongue of yours.” Bolli glanced up at her, then returned to his drink.

“Hello, Haelga,” he said, faking cheerfulness the best he could. To his dismay, the woman saw right through him, and leaned forward on the table.

“For Dibella’s sake,” she complained, “you’re still moping over that Nadia girl? You still have me, remember?” She reached for his hand, winking at him. “Come on, you can’t tell me that she was really better than I am. Maybe you need a reminder—”

“Haelga.” Bolli had suddenly looked up, his eyes flashing and his hand tight around his ale bottle. “Go home. I’m not leaving here with you again.” Haelga stared at him, her jaw slack as she rose from the table.

“…You promised me you would take me away from this place,” she said bitterly, her fists clenched at her sides. “You said you’d take me somewhere beautiful and start over with me.” People were starting to turn around and look now, and Bolli kept his eyes down, his face red. “You’re going to regret this, Bolli.” With that, she stormed from the inn, leaving her former lover to fight back tears all over again.