This is very well-written. More than anything, I love the incorporation of the game mechanics into the story - Delvin stands up out of a crouch after picking pockets, Bolli's wife (can't remember how to spell her name) says a variant of her standard line and then basically gives Delvin a fetch quest, Brynjolf tells Delvin to get lockpick training - it was very clever, and I was delighted when I recognized things. Nice work!