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Skyrim Page 3 - "Either you're naked, or I'm drunk. Maybe both."

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The others ducked as the shout of a dragon echoed from the surrounding mountains. Odahviing circled the trio before landing with a thump a short distance away.

“Dovahkiin,” Odahviing rumbled. “Why have you summoned me? I see no battle.”

“Krosis.” Dyce grinned. “Tonight our enemy is time,” Dyce said. “We need your wings, not your claws.”

Enthir and Erandur took a step back as the dragon snaked his great head close, looking at the harnesses Dyce had dropped in the snow. “Do you really think you can bind me again?”

“With these? Nope.” Dyce folded his arms. “I don’t want you to wear them, I just want you to hold them. Maybe jingle them a bit.”

“And if I don’t, Mortal?”

“I’ll kick your scaly arse again. Listen, Odahviing, I’m not fooling about here. I can prove it.”

“Can you really?” Enthir asked. “Because I’m not convinced, even if he is.”

Dyce sighed.

DOV AH CLAUS

Silence descended as each considered the results of the shout.

Dyce whistled. “Damn, Enthir, you look good in tights.”

“Thank Mara I still have a robe,” Erandur said fervently. “Even if it is somewhat...gaudy.”

“Red and green are definitely your colours,” Dyce said. “Are you cold, Enthir?”

“No. Although it makes no sense that I’m not. What magic is this?”

“Hmm.” Odahviing heaved a great sigh. To Dyce’s disappointment, the dragon hadn’t changed colour or acquired any decorations. “That is an old shout, made strange by the passing of centuries. Whatever spirits you have conjured, Dovahkiin, perhaps it would best if we acquiesced to their demands. For one night.”

“Right,” Dyce rubbed his hands together. “Let’s have that blessing again, and then all aboard.”

Odahviing lowered himself and let the three of them climb aboard with their stolen pastries and toys.

“Where are we going?” Erandur said, his arms around Dyce’s waist.

Dyce narrowed his eyes in determination. “Everywhere.”

Odavhiing opened his mouth and shouted before his great wings unfolded and hurled them into the sky. Rather reluctantly, the dragon held the harnesses in his front claws, and jingled them.

~~~
Dyce and Enthir spread out, lockpicks in hand, going from door to door, while the sounds of revelry drifted over from the Winking Skeever. Odahviing perched silently on roofs, letting Erandur scramble off his back with armfuls of goods. Occasionally he gave the bells a bit of a shake.

“See, I knew you’d start to enjoy it,” Dyce whispered, as the priest tucked a toy bear (made from real bearskin) under the arm of a sleeping girl. Erandur shook his head as he tiptoed past Dyce so he could relock the door, but Dyce could see he was smiling.

“That’s a fine piece of work.” Enthir stretched out a hand for golden candlestick.

“No!” Dyce hissed in his ear. “Not tonight.”

“Fine, but I think it’s a wasted opportunity.”

As the lights of Solitude slipped away behind them, Dyce pawed through his huge list and crossed out name after name.

Odahviing hovered rather reluctantly outside Dragonsreach as Dyce leaped from his back to the sloping roof. He pointed at a sack, “That one.”

“It’s heavy,” Enthir said, as he tossed it to him. “What’s in it?”

Dyce opened it and held up a lump of coal, stolen from the forge. Erandur raised his eyebrows. “Why are you giving them that?”

“Sometimes,” Dyce said. “That’s just the way it is.”

The hours passed slowly in a blur of slippery, snow covered rooftops, silent houses, and the eye-watering slipstream as Odahviing carried them from one end of Skyrim to the other. The sky was starting to lighten in the east when Odahviing hovered outside the College of Winterhold and Enthir slipped back in through his broken window.

“It was certainly an experience!” he called as Dyce waved at him from the dragon's back.

By the time they were at Dawnstar, Erandur was snoring gently on Dyce’s shoulder. Dyce shook him awake and he yawned.

“Drop me at town,” he said. “I’m supposed to give a sermon, if I can stay awake for it. Then it’s cider and sleep for me.” He kissed Dyce’s cold cheek. “Don’t celebrate too hard.” He climbed carefully down off the dragon’s back and bowed.

By the time Dyce arrived back in Windhelm, his armour had returned to its normal colour and lost its white fur trim. Odahviing didn’t hang around to talk, instead leaving as swiftly as he’d arrived after advising Dyce to avoid using that shout too often.

Dyce himself was exhausted, but was not planning on missing out on any of the celebrations he’d been invited to. He planned to catch a few hours sleep in Hjerim and then take the cart to Riften for the Guild party.

The door creaked only slightly as he eased it open; Calder would still be asleep. He decided he was more tired than hungry and crept upstairs to the master bedroom.

Despite the fact Dyce had given no notice of his intent to return, Calder had set out a huge plate of cookies and a mug of eggnog next to his bed. Even stranger, they were both still warm.

After eating and drinking his fill, Dyce took off his armour and went to bed, and he swore he could still hear those damnable bells ringing in his ears.

Tags: char:Erandur char:Enthir char:M!DB char:Odahviing kink:crack kink:humor series:dyce

(Apologies if this posts three times. LJ is being recalcitrant.)

Do you know, I saw this prompt, didn't think anyone would fill it and then not only did they fill it, IT WAS DYCE! EEEEEE!!!!

I loved every bit of this, all the little details such as new Santa armour, needing Elves and then Erandur and Enthir show up, Odahviing as the sleigh with bells, and leaving coal for Balgruuf's kids. So many little things just made this perfect.

It was a joy to read. Thank you!

Gods that was quick. Looks like the plot were-bunnies got you. :D

[Insert silly kid's song here...]

He has a red red coat
And a red red hat
His boots are black
And he carries a sack
He has a twinkle in his eye
And a friendly smile
And his name is DOV AH CLAUS...

[/Insert silly kid's song here...]

Happy New Year :)

Fucking hilarious.

Oh Dear God, this broke me!

Everything! The Shout! Odahviing (Odahviing!!) with Jingle Bells!
Enthir in tights and trying to steal stuff! Erandur being Erandur! The sexy red leather armour (Ohbaby!)

My poor family thinks I've absolutely lost my mind because I'm cackling over this. (Odahviing!)

Thank you so much! Just so funny and sweet! I'm hoping Dyce gets everything (and everyone) he wishes for the Holidays.

I'm not sure what just happened, but I liked it. (I'm sure Dyce gets that all the time)

Oh my god I fricken Dyce fill! A FRICKEN DYCE FILL! *flailing* I didn't even expect it to be filled at all, let alone by my favorite character. Op is so overjoyed that words have failed her. I love all your fills A!A and to have my request filled by you is an honor.

Just. F-ing. Awesome.

I approve of this fill DyceAnon :D

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