Skyrim Page 3 - "Either you're naked, or I'm drunk. Maybe both."

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Beyond the Ice and the Fire (Spectral Assassin/F!Dunmer) - 10/?

[(Anonymous)]

“Then explain to me. Why should you have been there?” He stroked along the line of her cheekbone with his thumb, his tone kinder, but still filled with a dreadful intensity.

Explain? Words tried to flee from her tongue in two directions at once, choking her. Submitting to lash or knife would be easier than this.

Which he well knows.

Now Riva did close her eyes, and he allowed it. “The – … I – … Lucien, I can’t.”

“You can, and you will, before anything else happens,” he replied, implacable.

Of course. She cast about for a way to string the errant words together, more difficult now even than it normally would have been, thanks to the recent dearth of practice. “As I was riding from Solitude… I kept thinking, that if only I could get there first…” she paused, swallowing past the lump rising in her throat. “If I could only get there in time, I could save them. I was so angry… felt so strong. We would have killed them all.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not,” Lucien murmured. “But do continue.”

“I didn’t want to die!” she bit out. It was suddenly very important that he understood that, that he knew his admonition had not been forgotten. The Void holds many gifts for ones such as we, but do not rush to meet it! “Not like… not like that one time, in the snowstorm. And I don’t think I should have died with them, even now. I think I should have saved them.” She knew she could not have. She knew, but every time she said that to herself, it sounded like a platitude, or worse, an excuse.

Lucien sighed and shook his head, looking weary in a way she had never seen from him, and drew his hand away in a lingering caress. She followed the direction of his gaze with her own eyes, and they landed upon the panel that depicted a Silencer’s flight toward a failed rescue, two centuries before.

“The game was fixed against you, set so that you could not possibly have time, even though you killed those who would have killed you. I was unable to say this when it was needed… before, so perhaps I may do so now.” He turned back to meet her eyes soberly. “You could not have saved them. You have saved their memories, their legacy, in a way that would have been lost forever had you not carried on. That is more of a gift than you can know.”