Skyrim Page 3 - "Either you're naked, or I'm drunk. Maybe both."

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Mead, thievery, and other social lubricants. [part 2.1]

[(Anonymous)]

[Author Anon note: Disregard what I said before about not writing anymore of this; I’ve had the most insane ideas about where I want it to go. It’s quickly developing into the crackiest thing I’ve ever written, and the only one I can thank for this madness is OP. So.. thanks, OP! This amused me a lot more than it was supposed to.

While the first part was genfic, this is going to turn smutty in a very short time. Be prepared.]

When she came back to her senses, Viatrix was holding onto her drinking buddy’s shoulder as he carried her off to what she could only suppose to be a bed. At first, she was a bit disappointed. It wasn’t like her to just blackout that way… maybe the long time spent far from real civilization really had taken a toll on her. When she stopped to think about it for the very first time, she realized that she hadn’t been drunk for a very long time. What if she’d gotten unused to alcohol? Or worse than that, what if, despite what she thought, her social skills had gotten sloppy?

Perish the thought. That was one of her main weapons, dammit!

“By Oblivion, you’re heavier than you look”, she heard Delvin mutter, and grinned, propping herself up on his arm to get back on her feet.

“That’s not a nice thing… to tell a lady, you know?”

“A lady!” He snorted. “Must be a fine place you come from, if ladies drink as much as you do. That would solve a couple problems o’mine…”

“Says the one who’s finished the bottle of brandy on his own after I gave up…”

“Not bloody likely to let a good thin’ go to waste.” His face looked a little blurry, but then again, so did the ground. “So, you goin’ to tell me why did you let me drink you into this state, if you knew I meant business the moment you saw me approach?”

“Thought I’d humor you at first, then I thought it’d be fun. How about you? You don’t look that much better than I am, really…”

“Thought I’d humor you at first, then I thought it’d be fun. And, who knows, thought maybe I’d get lucky.” Oh. Oh. That explained how touchy he’d gotten with her when she’d started telling him about that one time she’d raided a temple of the Divines and replaced all of the coins in their coffers with chickpeas from Hammerfell. Ah, that had been hilarious.

“Well, I can’t blame a man for trying.” She simply smirked at him, her mind elsewhere for a short while. Really, how long had it been since she’d last let a man touch her? More importantly, how long had it been since she’d last been consistently around humans? Azura visited her from time to time to give her instructions, in Dunmer form, and she had some contacts keeping her updated about the outside world events, but it wasn’t the same as being in a city, surrounded by people. Just before he opened his mouth to talk, she spoke again, feeling more melancholic than she’d expected to be. “There was this girl, you know. Pretty little wood elf thing, blonde, lovely doe eyes. Name was Galbedir. I’d try to get her drunk and into bed every now and then, but she just fell asleep after a while. The others found it so amusing.” She snorted, then chuckled, despite herself. It actually was pretty funny, just not to her.