We ascended the last flight of stairs and emerged into Ulfric’s bedchamber. The goat horn sconces flickered as he walked by, and I closed the entrance behind us, locking it at his command. The roaring hearth past the pedestaled bed cast shadows of his burly physique across the floor toward me. I lingered in front of the doors as he ventured to the fireplace, his silhouette tall and imposing amidst the flames. He bade me to join him after several beats went by, and like a marionette on a string, I complied with his will.
The heat of the fire seeped through to my bones as I neared, chasing away the last of the chill from outside. I came to stand next to him, my vision directed at the blaze that he also watched.
“We are preparing to send a message to Balgruuf, telling him to choose a side.” Ulfric turned to me then, his stare full of ice. “Does the same need to be done for you?”
I looked away and readied myself to repeat a conversation we’d held numerous times before. “Forgive me, my Jarl, but message or no, I will take no part in the civil war.”
Displeasure emanated from his bearing as he edged closer. “I have tolerated you sitting on the fence like this, but my patience wears thin. And while Elisif may be content with your impartial stance, I am not so lenient.”
My hackles raised on instinct when the threat entered his posture, and I evaded the fingers that reached out to grasp at me. “You already have my membership in your court, my company in your quarters,” I pointed out, observing the dark glint that flickered in his eyes. “What more could you want of me?”
He appeared to double in size, provoked by a question I’d thought to be innocent. His hand shot out and seized one of the horns of my helm. At the last second, I slammed my palms into the sides of my head and held it in place when he tried to yank it upward.
“To start, I want to know what it is you’re hiding,” he snarled, granting no respite as he grabbed the second horn with his other hand. “From the start, you shrouded yourself and your motives in obscurity. Even now, you have yet to explain your involvement with both Solitude and Windhelm when you have no intention of supporting either side.”
My heart thundered in my chest as we continued to struggle, and my mind whirled with a plethora of responses that I dared not issue. Something simmered beneath my skin, burning and inciting me with a long-buried emotion. It felt like anger.
“Furthermore, why do you insist on this vague appearance?” Ulfric demanded. “Male or female, you have never given any indication to be one or the other.”
Tightness wound itself up my spine. What difference did that make to him at this point? His new determination to unmask me was perplexing. In the midst of my physical and mental strain, a single thought drifted to the forefront.
The Equivocal Shroud [7/?]
The heat of the fire seeped through to my bones as I neared, chasing away the last of the chill from outside. I came to stand next to him, my vision directed at the blaze that he also watched.
“We are preparing to send a message to Balgruuf, telling him to choose a side.” Ulfric turned to me then, his stare full of ice. “Does the same need to be done for you?”
I looked away and readied myself to repeat a conversation we’d held numerous times before. “Forgive me, my Jarl, but message or no, I will take no part in the civil war.”
Displeasure emanated from his bearing as he edged closer. “I have tolerated you sitting on the fence like this, but my patience wears thin. And while Elisif may be content with your impartial stance, I am not so lenient.”
My hackles raised on instinct when the threat entered his posture, and I evaded the fingers that reached out to grasp at me. “You already have my membership in your court, my company in your quarters,” I pointed out, observing the dark glint that flickered in his eyes. “What more could you want of me?”
He appeared to double in size, provoked by a question I’d thought to be innocent. His hand shot out and seized one of the horns of my helm. At the last second, I slammed my palms into the sides of my head and held it in place when he tried to yank it upward.
“To start, I want to know what it is you’re hiding,” he snarled, granting no respite as he grabbed the second horn with his other hand. “From the start, you shrouded yourself and your motives in obscurity. Even now, you have yet to explain your involvement with both Solitude and Windhelm when you have no intention of supporting either side.”
My heart thundered in my chest as we continued to struggle, and my mind whirled with a plethora of responses that I dared not issue. Something simmered beneath my skin, burning and inciting me with a long-buried emotion. It felt like anger.
“Furthermore, why do you insist on this vague appearance?” Ulfric demanded. “Male or female, you have never given any indication to be one or the other.”
Tightness wound itself up my spine. What difference did that make to him at this point? His new determination to unmask me was perplexing. In the midst of my physical and mental strain, a single thought drifted to the forefront.
Did I need a reason for my androgyny?