No sign of the kids as she emerged. They must be off playing somewhere in the city. Such was often the case. She could sense Madanach though. He was out by the throne, although not in it. She could see his silhouette as she approached – see his shoulders tighten as he sensed her coming.
“Go on, go talk to him, we'll be right here,” Eola whispered and Cicero nodded fervently.
“Cicero isn't going anywhere, sweet Listener,” Cicero murmured and that did make her smile. With young initiates from the Forsworn to tend to Mother, Cicero had a lot more free time on his hands and Eola could only take so much of him at a time. So Liriel not infrequently found Cicero fussing over her too when Madanach was busy. It was all rather nice... but Cicero wasn't the Reach-King.
Today, Madanach didn't feel like one either. Liriel could tell he was feeling tense, on edge, not nearly as confident as usual. In fact there wasn't a lot there at all, just... nothing. Emptiness. Which was wrong, very very wrong, usually he'd sense her nearby and feel pleased. Not today.
“Madanach,” Liriel began as she approached. “Madanach, about last night...” No, really no idea about any of it, but maybe just being able to talk to him would help. If only she knew how he was feeling. Because he looked terrible. Hunched over the table, barely looking at her, red and puffy eyes. He'd not slept well, she could tell that.
“Madanach,” she whispered, guilt gnawing at her as she reached out for him... then shock as he flinched away.
“Liriel,” Madanach said quietly. “Your parents are leaving today, your father just stopped by to pay your mother's bounty. I made myself scarce, don't worry. You should probably go and say goodbye.”
Right now, Liriel couldn't care less about her parents. What was she supposed to say? Goodbye, thanks for visiting, by the way I think you just ruined my marriage and any chance of happiness I might have had in life.
She was more worried about her husband. This withdrawal was not like him – normally everyone could tell what sort of mood he was in.
“What about you?” she said softly, not touching him but taking a seat next to him. Madanach just turned away, head in his hands.
“It doesn't matter,” and he was barely audible, even Liriel's Elven hearing straining to catch him. But she heard the words and her mind flashed back to another time they'd been sitting by a campfire and she'd asked about his happiness and he'd shrugged and asked if that mattered. They'd been apart for weeks, she'd not seen him since the conference that got him his kingdom, but she'd known by that point she wanted him back.
“It matters to me,” she whispered, same words she'd said then, but this time he didn't look up or respond, he just moved further away.
“It shouldn't,” he said roughly. “Liriel, when they're gone, when Vlindrel Hall's empty again... you should move back there. Or one of the many other houses you've got. You can take the kids, do whatever you want with the ring, you can keep the torc even. Don't worry about the bond, I'll get Keirine to break it, you can have your head back. Have your life back. All I ask is a chance to see the girls now and then, let me write to them. I'll send coin for their upkeep if you like, full retinue of servants if you want, anything you need, let Nepos know.”
Liriel let her hand fall to her side, everything coming screaming to a halt as it sank in just what he meant.
“No,” she whispered. “No, you can't. You're my husband!” But he was slowly shaking his head.
“I can't, Liriel,” he said softly. “I can't do it to you. I should never have... I should have let you be, let you go off and find yourself an elven man who can give you what you actually want. Because you're not happy with me, at least you're not any more and I can't... damn, Liriel, I can feel you, you're breaking my heart!”
“I'm breaking your heart??” Liriel breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away irritably – a dragon shouldn't cry, even when her ahmul walked away like this. “Madanach, what are you doing, I still love you, you wanted me only yesterday, don't do this, please, what about the kids, what the actual fuck am I supposed to tell our children??”
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.9
“Go on, go talk to him, we'll be right here,” Eola whispered and Cicero nodded fervently.
“Cicero isn't going anywhere, sweet Listener,” Cicero murmured and that did make her smile. With young initiates from the Forsworn to tend to Mother, Cicero had a lot more free time on his hands and Eola could only take so much of him at a time. So Liriel not infrequently found Cicero fussing over her too when Madanach was busy. It was all rather nice... but Cicero wasn't the Reach-King.
Today, Madanach didn't feel like one either. Liriel could tell he was feeling tense, on edge, not nearly as confident as usual. In fact there wasn't a lot there at all, just... nothing. Emptiness. Which was wrong, very very wrong, usually he'd sense her nearby and feel pleased. Not today.
“Madanach,” Liriel began as she approached. “Madanach, about last night...” No, really no idea about any of it, but maybe just being able to talk to him would help. If only she knew how he was feeling. Because he looked terrible. Hunched over the table, barely looking at her, red and puffy eyes. He'd not slept well, she could tell that.
“Madanach,” she whispered, guilt gnawing at her as she reached out for him... then shock as he flinched away.
“Liriel,” Madanach said quietly. “Your parents are leaving today, your father just stopped by to pay your mother's bounty. I made myself scarce, don't worry. You should probably go and say goodbye.”
Right now, Liriel couldn't care less about her parents. What was she supposed to say? Goodbye, thanks for visiting, by the way I think you just ruined my marriage and any chance of happiness I might have had in life.
She was more worried about her husband. This withdrawal was not like him – normally everyone could tell what sort of mood he was in.
“What about you?” she said softly, not touching him but taking a seat next to him. Madanach just turned away, head in his hands.
“It doesn't matter,” and he was barely audible, even Liriel's Elven hearing straining to catch him. But she heard the words and her mind flashed back to another time they'd been sitting by a campfire and she'd asked about his happiness and he'd shrugged and asked if that mattered. They'd been apart for weeks, she'd not seen him since the conference that got him his kingdom, but she'd known by that point she wanted him back.
“It matters to me,” she whispered, same words she'd said then, but this time he didn't look up or respond, he just moved further away.
“It shouldn't,” he said roughly. “Liriel, when they're gone, when Vlindrel Hall's empty again... you should move back there. Or one of the many other houses you've got. You can take the kids, do whatever you want with the ring, you can keep the torc even. Don't worry about the bond, I'll get Keirine to break it, you can have your head back. Have your life back. All I ask is a chance to see the girls now and then, let me write to them. I'll send coin for their upkeep if you like, full retinue of servants if you want, anything you need, let Nepos know.”
Liriel let her hand fall to her side, everything coming screaming to a halt as it sank in just what he meant.
“No,” she whispered. “No, you can't. You're my husband!” But he was slowly shaking his head.
“I can't, Liriel,” he said softly. “I can't do it to you. I should never have... I should have let you be, let you go off and find yourself an elven man who can give you what you actually want. Because you're not happy with me, at least you're not any more and I can't... damn, Liriel, I can feel you, you're breaking my heart!”
“I'm breaking your heart??” Liriel breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away irritably – a dragon shouldn't cry, even when her ahmul walked away like this. “Madanach, what are you doing, I still love you, you wanted me only yesterday, don't do this, please, what about the kids, what the actual fuck am I supposed to tell our children??”