The problem was Lirela, or rather her mother, and the fact Elisif didn't seem to like letting Madanach be around her so much now she knew about the addiction. She hadn't exactly stopped Madanach seeing Lirela, but she was definitely there whenever Madanach was around her daughter, watching keenly in a way she never had before and gripping her chair whenever Madanach held her. It got to the stage Madanach stopped going over or would hand Lirela back or over to Liriel, an outcome which pleased neither grandfather or granddaughter. Lirela might only be seven months old but she definitely seemed keen on her grandfather, and the feeling was quite mutual.
“Did you want me to talk to her?” Liriel whispered that night in bed.
“No,” Madanach sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Wouldn't do any good. She's just a mother looking out for her baby. Probably for the best I don't see Lirela that often. Best she doesn't get attached or anything. I'll just disappoint her.”
“Sweetie,” Liriel whispered, snuggling closer and cuddling him. “You're her grandfather. That little girl loves you already. It's not fair you screw up once and hardly get to see her any more.”
“Life isn't fair, cariad,” Madanach said quietly, turning to face her. “You fall in love and it's with a Skooma-addled wreck who's well past his best. Ancalime comes to visit her big sister and loses her father. I'm not even sure Meryndor deserved to die the way he did. I know Eithne and Amaleen never deserved what happened to them. And I don't deserve you, never did.”
“Tough, you're stuck with me,” Liriel said, kissing him on the cheek and holding her to him. “And you are not past it. You're still in good health, still strong, you're one of the brightest people I've ever met. You've got so much left to offer. I just wish you could see it, see yourself as I do.”
“You're the only one who does,” Madanach said bitterly. “Elisif found out I took Skooma and now addict is all she sees, and she doesn't like Lirela being anywhere near me. Effectively I just lost my granddaughter and... it's not fair, Liriel but what can I do?”
It really wasn't fair. Liriel loved watching Madanach with children, his entire demeanour changed from stern and forbidding warlord king to kind and friendly father-figure. Especially when babies were involved. She'd seen him get emotional over Lirela, then as she got older and more responsive, the two of them actually start to bond. It always made Liriel sniffle a little bit to watch, because it was cute and also something he'd never do with their own child. At least having Lirela had assuaged Liriel's sadness over that a bit and given them both an outlet. Now Madanach looked set to lose even that.
“I'll talk to her,” Liriel said firmly. “You don't have any other grandchildren yet, and it's not like we're going to have a baby. It's not fair one mistake costs you your granddaughter.”
Choked little cry from him and he held her tighter, saying nothing but Liriel could sense something in him, as if he desperately wanted to say something but didn't know how.
“What?” she asked, ruffling his hair. “What is it? Something's on your mind, what's up?”
When Madanach finally did speak, he sounded very hesitant and unsure of himself.
“Cariad, this is probably a ridiculous question, I know you're extremely conscientious about your potions but... is there any way you could be pregnant?”
“Pregnant? Me?” Liriel said, confused and wondering what brought that on. Of course not, she'd had a period... a while ago, now she came to think of it, although Altmer only bled three times a year, she was sure she should have had one in the last four months and it hadn't come. But maybe it was the stress of getting married and adventuring. Not like she'd had morning sickness or anything, although the nausea and exhaustion – no. Just due to being injured, that was all. Not like she'd had sex without potions lately... apart from that time just after Irkngthand when she'd got back to Markarth to a husband who'd feared her dead or injured and swept her off to bed before she'd had a chance to take anything.
Re: Thicker Than Blood 12.8
“Did you want me to talk to her?” Liriel whispered that night in bed.
“No,” Madanach sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Wouldn't do any good. She's just a mother looking out for her baby. Probably for the best I don't see Lirela that often. Best she doesn't get attached or anything. I'll just disappoint her.”
“Sweetie,” Liriel whispered, snuggling closer and cuddling him. “You're her grandfather. That little girl loves you already. It's not fair you screw up once and hardly get to see her any more.”
“Life isn't fair, cariad,” Madanach said quietly, turning to face her. “You fall in love and it's with a Skooma-addled wreck who's well past his best. Ancalime comes to visit her big sister and loses her father. I'm not even sure Meryndor deserved to die the way he did. I know Eithne and Amaleen never deserved what happened to them. And I don't deserve you, never did.”
“Tough, you're stuck with me,” Liriel said, kissing him on the cheek and holding her to him. “And you are not past it. You're still in good health, still strong, you're one of the brightest people I've ever met. You've got so much left to offer. I just wish you could see it, see yourself as I do.”
“You're the only one who does,” Madanach said bitterly. “Elisif found out I took Skooma and now addict is all she sees, and she doesn't like Lirela being anywhere near me. Effectively I just lost my granddaughter and... it's not fair, Liriel but what can I do?”
It really wasn't fair. Liriel loved watching Madanach with children, his entire demeanour changed from stern and forbidding warlord king to kind and friendly father-figure. Especially when babies were involved. She'd seen him get emotional over Lirela, then as she got older and more responsive, the two of them actually start to bond. It always made Liriel sniffle a little bit to watch, because it was cute and also something he'd never do with their own child. At least having Lirela had assuaged Liriel's sadness over that a bit and given them both an outlet. Now Madanach looked set to lose even that.
“I'll talk to her,” Liriel said firmly. “You don't have any other grandchildren yet, and it's not like we're going to have a baby. It's not fair one mistake costs you your granddaughter.”
Choked little cry from him and he held her tighter, saying nothing but Liriel could sense something in him, as if he desperately wanted to say something but didn't know how.
“What?” she asked, ruffling his hair. “What is it? Something's on your mind, what's up?”
When Madanach finally did speak, he sounded very hesitant and unsure of himself.
“Cariad, this is probably a ridiculous question, I know you're extremely conscientious about your potions but... is there any way you could be pregnant?”
“Pregnant? Me?” Liriel said, confused and wondering what brought that on. Of course not, she'd had a period... a while ago, now she came to think of it, although Altmer only bled three times a year, she was sure she should have had one in the last four months and it hadn't come. But maybe it was the stress of getting married and adventuring. Not like she'd had morning sickness or anything, although the nausea and exhaustion – no. Just due to being injured, that was all. Not like she'd had sex without potions lately... apart from that time just after Irkngthand when she'd got back to Markarth to a husband who'd feared her dead or injured and swept her off to bed before she'd had a chance to take anything.