skyrimkinkmeme | Meme Announcements!

(Total crack prompt, I'm so sorry.)

Any two (or three or four...) adventurers of your choosing are exploring a Dwemer ruin when they stumble across the Dwemers' greatest invention...

Internal plumbing.

(Bonus points for scared-but-not-showing-it!Mjoll and snarktastic!Marcurio.)

THIS OP WILL WAIT FOREVER.

THIS OP LOVES THAT PLAN.

To both anons, this OP appreciates your enthusiasm! ;3; I assure you I will wait forever and ever.

"The Code does not permit impostors to claim the title of Justicar." Sexytimes punishment or just a plain old biotic beatdown, I'd like to see my favorite Asari disproving the superiority of the Thalmor.

F!MagePC is doing some magical research around various sites dotting Skyrim (perhaps she's on assignment from the college? It's up to A!A). It's risky, dangerous work so she decides to hire a seasoned warrior to accompany her. Who better than a Companion? Farkas is assigned on the job. He's wary at first because - magic! She thinks he's a dumb brute. They don't start off on the best of terms but as their journey progresses they're forced to depend on each other more and more which brings them closer (in more ways than one *hinthint*) :)

Bonus for Breton or Imperial PC - sizekink

Previous!anon can already tell she's goingto need her tissues if it will be Farkas.

/stalks

I might have to AU my NathaliaxFarkas pairing, but come hell or high water, this anon will eventually do this.

/goes to finish other fills so she can get to crackin/

...Well, now I have to third this.

You have no idea how happy I was when I saw your reply! The squeeing in the distance you just heard? That was me! Thank you, potential A!A! I will be checking back in the hopes of reading your fill.

yeeeeeeeesssssss. Imperial and Nord size kink! My favorite thing in this game! Aaaaaaghhhh. If I wasn't in some fills here and in the T&B meme, I would be so over this! Maybe when I'm done lol

Because I find Dunmer sexy as hell.

Bonus points for dirty talk, multiple orgasms and maybe a bit of competitiveness between the two men? ;)

Plot/setting is all yours, a!anons. Run wild.

Bwah, this anon has the biggest soft spot for Bolli ever. Seconded. :'D

Well, that subject line couldn't be more convoluted.

I want to see a human or elf NPC as somebody whose gotten around quite a bit, but only with their own race. This NPC is now romantically involved with either a Khajiit or Argonian Dragonborn, and when sexytimes come around...NPC is completely at a loss for how it works.

I want to see a patient DB trying to explain to their lover that it really isn't all that different, and then demonstrating just that much (of course!). OP would prefer the NPC male and the DB female, but anything else is fair game.

I've never written anything like it but I'm intrigued. Working on this now.

I would like..okay, I would LOVE to see DB and Greybeard end up together.
Maybe he's not at the rank of Master Arngeir, is younger or older- doesn't matter. (Age kink is fine with me as long as it's not like 19 yr old DB- 60 yr old GB)

Maybe they have a hard time figuring out how to get down to business without her getting shouted into a million pieces. (Maybe DB can withstand their voices? No idea.)

I would love fluff and smut, a good swoon is good for the soul.
Would prefer human F!DB.

It was the drak of the night; not even the moons were awake, yet in Jorrvaskr two souls did not sleep. Farkas paced around the living quarters, pausing infrequently to look with longing in the direction of the Harbinger's quarters where his Nord Lady slept peacefully, while their son cooed and burbled, wide awake as if it was midday.

"You know she's in there, sleeping, don't you, little rapscallion?" Farkas grumbled quietly, still half-smiling. "You know the bed in there is warm and welcoming. What you seem to forget is that I am Pack just as much as she is."

Baby made a happy noise at that; Hildreth said that Farkas knew his son's moods better than anyone - even the one who had borne the pup. She always smiled and kissed him when she said it, too. Farkas smiled and warmed at the memory.

"I am Pack Leader, she is Den Mother, and you, my boy, are the first of our Whelps. And you will always be the first - even if *he* insists on needing more attention in the daytime, he is not our first born. He is your twin, though, so you have to look out for him. He'll look out for you, too. That's what Pack is. I'll tell you this again, and again, when you're old enough to understand it, but I think you'll understand Pack without having it explained to you. That's what life in Jorrvaskr will do for you. Your Shield-Brothers-and-Sisters will be Pack, too, but not quite the same as me, your mother and your twin. And uncle Vilkas. He's Pack, too, even if he is a nosy wolf," Farkas spoke more loudly as he sensed his own twin awake nearby.

"Go to bed, brother," Farkas' elder brother said, with a fond half-smile. "You've bored him to sleep."

"'Night Vilkas."

"'Night lads."

I wish I could describe what happened in my brain when I read this prompt, Anon.

SECONDED FOREVER!!!!

I support this prompt, not enough beast races around here!

Seconded!

I know! There is something about this big, adorable brute that will have me sobbing. YES.

=3 this gave OP the warm and fuzzies.

[Since it was requested so nicely in http://skyrimkinkmeme.livejournal.com/3603.html?thread=4104979#t4104979 , and since I just can’t say no, no matter how crack-tastic the subject and how tricky it is to write poetry in a language different than my own, I bring you here, as a sort of sequel to Bad Poetry, more silliness involving Mercer Frey, my most roguish Dovahkiin, a long flashback, and, you guessed right, terrible poems filled to the brim with sensual imagery. You’re welcome. Enjoy.

Tags for the unsuspecting passerby are kink:crack/humor, char:mercer_frey, char:sapphire, race:breton. No smut, sadly. But who knows what might happen… ]

The horse seemed to sense the urgency in its mistress’s movements, and saved her the pain of spurring it, immediately starting galloping as soon as she pointed it to the right direction with a single neigh of understanding. Despite how much Joie enjoyed the company of some of the adventurers she had met in her travels, being finally alone was a pleasure. Travelling was faster when she didn’t have to take care not to lose her companions on the way, and the icy cold wind on her face gave her a kick, a sense of freedom and savage fulfillment few other things did. Not to mention this was rather personal business.

He was waiting for them. If she didn’t already know, the message he had left for her to find would’ve made it clear. He wanted them to be there, just one step behind him as he marked his victory upon them all. That could be a weakness ready to be exploited, but she knew better than to underestimate a man clever enough to be able to betray a whole guild of capable thieves over and over without them ever noticing. Which was why she still couldn’t deal properly with the content of that message.

Poetry? Really?! Ripe with imagery of blades being thrust into bodies, lust and submission, no less? Could it be that the poem wasn’t addressed to her, after all? She had only ever seen him as a sour, quiet man, a wall of authority separating him from the rest of the guild, at least until she witnessed him gloating above what could’ve become her corpse in a matter of seconds. That was the one time she had glimpsed something else; ambition, amusement, and a smug sense of satisfaction.

None of which excluded the image of a Mercer with a quill in his hand, thinking about rhymes and syllables, of course. But it seemed odd.

A few things did come to her mind. Like the way she had to roll her eyes when finding an immaculate copy of the Lustful Argonian Maid sitting on the table, right next to Mercer’s plans for the Eyes of the Falmer’s retrieval. It was such a terrible read. Joie herself could’ve written better erotic plays, she was certain of it – her own journal would make for a more titillating read, although she wasn’t exactly eager to wave it around. Oh well. I can live with the knowledge that I can write amazing pornography being kept a secret. Still, that had been a rather unexpected find.

Another one was a thing that had happened a little more than a couple months before, while she was chilling in the Cistern and minding her own business. Back then, she had misinterpreted the events, but thinking about it now, it made so much more sense…

---

She was laying on her squeaky bed, an arm draped over her eyes to protect them from the light. It had all started with the unexpected find of a cabin in the woods while on her way back from a job, and then someone had invited her to have a taste of their fine Skooma, and, before she knew it, she was captive in a vampire’s lair and had to fight her way out. It was becoming more and more clear that her days as a cheap Skooma dealer were over, and that to survive in Skyrim she really had to work on her skills as an adventurer. Or as a thief. Those paths were both working out fine for her, unlike her increasingly unsuccessful attempts of starting once again the business her siblings had taught her, or at least tried to.

In the end, she had come out of it with a number of injuries of varied degree, her war axe and bow both slightly damaged and drained from any magical propriety, and a stabbing headache due to the quantity of Skooma she had decided to taste – just checking if it’s any good, she told herself, and it did sound like a good idea at the time. Of course, she also felt a little nauseous now that she knew where that particular brand came from and the implications of having ingested it, but whining about it would do her no good. That would teach her not to stick in her mouth stuff she found in dirty, abandoned cabins.

At some point during the evening Sapphire had approached her, cackling wickedly and holding a sheet of paper to her chest, and, although she was a little annoyed to see that no one in the cistern had even thought of asking her whether she was fine after seeing her limp to her bed and drop onto it like a sack of potatoes, Joie appreciated the intrusion. At least she could focus on something that wasn’t the pain… and despite what she might’ve anticipated, the members of the guild and her were even starting to form some kind of a bond. She could only figure the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy was their own way of showing they were okay with her.

“Get that arm off your face. You have to see this”, Sapphire stated, briskly shoving the written paper on her lap and sitting by her side. Joie made a show of rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh, but smiled to herself as she grabbed the mysterious letter and scanned it inquisitively.

“What is it?” Silly question. Just giving it a glance it was clear that it was a poem, although with several – mostly unreadable – corrections. The messy way it was written down made it clear it wasn’t made to be shown to anyone. A further reading only confirmed that impression.

While thoughts of flesh and heat plague one man’s head
And threaten to take over on his mind
How can he spin his web of sin instead?
Shouldn’t he want to be both deaf and blind?

Too loud the laugh and sighs, as if to mock,
Too much the skin tempts into giving up
What should instead be goals and ends to stalk;
How does a man keep strong and pass the cup

That so defiantly avoids his grasp?
Or maybe if he took it and then drank,
Despite all things, the poison of such asp

He’d find it so much easier to yank
It off his chest, the lovely, monstrous beast
That on his heart so cruelly wants to feast.

A jagged line separated this fully developed poem by what seemed to be thoughts written haphazardly, the roughness of the quill marks betraying the nervous hand behind them.

Curse her, curse her to Oblivion! She is testing me, I know it. She senses the tension behind my actions, and tries everything she can to catch my eye, everything short of undressing right in front of me, to see whether I will give in and take her or I’m too much of a coward. This is quickly becoming a distraction, and I can’t afford it.

But by the gods does she look like she could swallow me whole… a tempting thought, to try that mouth of hers, violate it thoroughly, the mere thought causes me to stiffen… And those lovely, delicate hands… Or to wipe the smug grin off her face and replace it with a look of pleasure…

Note: write down more about this ‘swallowing whole’ deal, it sounds promising. Good imagery. Will need to write down something a little more explicit. Maybe putting down these things I can’t say on paper will help. I don’t know. I’m ready to try anything by now.

Joie read it with a sort of hunger, as if every line prompted her to go further down… and let out a little chuckle as soon as she reached the end, still not too sure what to think of it. “Oh my. This is…” She glanced at Sapphire, who only grinned wider, and shook her head. “Where did you find it? Did someone we know…?”

The other woman leaned down on the bed, taking the sheet of paper from her hands and dangling it in front of her face. “I found it laying around in this very room. Someone must’ve lost it.” She stopped speaking, looked around to see if anyone was looking at them, and started whispering to her in a conspiratorial way. “Don’t you get it? We have a poet hiding amongst us!” Another pause, shorter, before she added with emphasis: “And he’s horny!”

For some reason, that prompted them both to burst out laughing in a very undignified way. A poet thief. A horny one. Now that was an interesting thought. Gods, her body ached already due to all the fighting and walking, the laughter that was shaking her sides was just the coup de grace she was waiting for.

It took her quite a while to recompose herself, and, while she briskly removed the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, Joie shrugged, trying hard to get the smile off her face. “Awww. That’s pretty adorable. In a thoroughly creepy way. But it wasn’t so badly written, I mean, there was effort behind that…”

“True… which excludes Vipir.”

“That’s so mean.” She laughed again. And I love it. “Maybe Thrynn? He looks like he would be deep enough to write something like that… underneath the muscles and warpaint… maybe his heart beats for a woman he can't have…”

“My bet is on that good for nothing Niruin. He fancies himself a refined man, but you’ve seen how much of a pervert he is... Or Brynjolf. I don’t know, does he look like he would write filthy poetry to you?”

“He might… I’m not sure though, maybe not…”

For a while after that, the presence of a depraved poet thief amongst their ranks remained an inside joke between Sapphire and her. And later that evening, while Mercer chewed her out for not being careful enough and risking to ruin their business with her silly adventuring, Joie just couldn’t understand what she’d done wrong…

---

As the chilly air lashed her face, her trusted horse galloping steady towards her goal, Joie remember that night, thought about it over and over, and wasn’t so sure anymore whether she should laugh or worry.

:D:D:D

WriteAnon is so glad. I loved this prompt.

Meme Announcements!

Any, Dwemer ruin

OP

YES

Mass Effect Cross, Samara + Justiciar[s]

F!MagePC/Farkas

Re: MAKE ME CRY - DB/partner

Re: F!MagePC/Farkas

Re: Sanguine/Hermaeus Mora

OP

Re: F!MagePC/Farkas

Erandur/F!Dunmer!DB/Athis threesome

Re: F!DB/Bolli

Human or elf!NPC/Beast Race!DB

Re: F!Vampire!Listener/Cicero

F!DB/Greybeard

What kind of cheese? F!DB/Farkas

Re: Any, Dwemer ruin

Re: Human or elf!NPC/Beast Race!DB

Re: DB/Ondolemar

Re: MAKE ME CRY - DB/partner

Any kind of cheese you want!

The Poet Thief

The Poet Thief [part 2]

The Poet Thief [part 3]

I'll have some Emmental please