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skyrimkinkmeme) wrote2011-10-29 12:36 pm
skyrimkinkmeme) wrote2011-10-29 12:36 pm
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ANNOUNCEMENTS: UPDATED 12/16/2017
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Cicero/Listener From the perspective of other Sanctuary members...
Wanted: as much awkwardness as possible.
Re: Cicero/Listener From the perspective of other Sanctuary members...
(Anonymous) 2013-02-23 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)This prompt is fabulous. Seconded.
Re: Cicero/Listener From the perspective of other Sanctuary members...
(Anonymous) 2013-02-23 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Cicero/Listener From the perspective of other Sanctuary members...
(Anonymous) 2013-02-27 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Cicero/Listener From the perspective of other Sanctuary members...
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 05:28 am (UTC)(link)This was fun to write. :D
No Accounting for Taste 1/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I'm sorry Babette is so gross, Nazir.
Title: No Accounting for Taste
Pairing: Cicero/F!Listener; race unspecified
Other characters: Nazir, Babette, DB initiate OC
Kinks: exhibitionism; accidental voyeurism; light BDSM (implied)
Nazir walked stiffly into the common room and sank into a chair. He reached into his inside pocket with a shaking hand and felt around until he found a small metal flask. He shook it, and thanked the Dark Lord that an ample helping of liquid still sloshed about inside. He uncorked it and took a desperate belt. But even the strong Hammerfell rum did little to calm his nerves.
Babette was there, too, leaning against a wall, waiting for a kettle to boil. She studied him curiously, and then comprehension bloomed on her childish face. “Oh, Lord,” she sighed. “You just walked in on them, didn’t you?”
Nazir nodded and tossed back another gulp of rum.
“Why in Sithis’ name did you go in there in the first place? The whole Sanctuary’s been able to hear them for the past half hour! Which is a wonderful how-do-you-do for that new recruit, I might add...”
“Look, I just got here. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t even know they were...” He shook his head a little, as if to jostle the image out of his brain. “I just wanted to let our fearless leader know I’d finished my contract! Damn it, haven’t they ever heard of locking the door?!”
“Well, apparently not.”
“How long has this been going on?!”
“Well, he’s been following her around like a shadow lately. She takes him on all her contracts. I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
A loud, high-pitched yelp echoed through the Sanctuary, followed by a series of maniac giggles and a faint exclamation: “Oooh, LISTENER!”
“Come to think of it, he did seem even more, uh, jubilant than usual when they came home last night.”
Nazir was clamping his hands over his ears. “I cannot cope with this today. I just got back from Markarth. I am worn out. My feet hurt. My head hurts. I did not plan for this.”
She took the pot off the fire and poured herself a cup of tea, then took a seat across from Nazir. “Remarkable, the acoustics in this place, don’t you think?”
More giggles, and then the tinny voice again: “Ooh, yes, I like that! Very good, verrryyy good! Oh -- OOOH, LISTENER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!” Low, devilish feminine laughter mingled with Cicero’s until both dissolved into moans of pleasure.
Nazir cringed. “Isn’t there some kind of law against this sort of thing?”
“It’s not one of the Five Tenets.” Babette took a sip of tea. “Isn’t it odd how he still calls her ‘Listener’ in bed?”
“They aren’t IN bed.” Nazir winced. “Oh, gods, I hate that I know that. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Babette, just cut my head off. That’s where my brain is, right?”
“How much did you see, anyway?”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Did he keep his hat on?”
“Y -- Babette, for the love of Sithis!”
She shrugged. “I was just curious.”
“I can’t believe you! I can’t -- how can you be so...so...” Nazir sputtered.
“Unruffled?” She gave him a fangy grin. “You must remember that I’ve been around for more than three hundred years, Nazir. Very little surprises me anymore. And believe me, it’s not the first time a Listener and Keeper have become...entangled. Why, I remember a pair from when I was just a sprightly hundred-year-old...”
“Naughty, naughty Listener! That’s quite enough! You’ve crossed over the line this time! Ooh, Cicero will get you, wicked strumpet!” A whoop of feminine laughter, then a loud thump and a grunt as something...or someone...impacted the wooden door hard from the other side. And now a rhythmic rattling and squeaking as the door was repeatedly jounced in its frame.
“Well, that sounds like it’s going to leave a bruise.”
“I’m warning you, Babette...”
No Accounting for Taste 2/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)“Welcome, Eydling,” Babette said brightly. “Have some tea.”
“Er, I’m not sure if I can stomach tea right now, thank you.”
“Aren’t you enjoying the show, dear?”
“That’s...the Listener and the...Keeper in there, right?” he said slowly in his Nordic drawl. “The...the little man who tends the coffin...and wears the jester’s clothes?”
Babette and Nazir nodded.
“Sweet Sithis...why?”
“Oh, darling, your eyes are like dinner plates. Didn’t your mother ever explain this to you?”
“Yes,” he said testily. “I’m not a child. You know what I mean. A woman like that and someone like...him?!”
“Ooh, Cicero, I just can’t behave myself! What in the world are you going to do with me?”
“Cicero will show you who’s in charge! Hands on the bedpost, little harlot!”
Another torrent of giggles.
“There’s no accounting for taste, dear,” Babette said. “Anyway, I find Cicero quite charming -- if a little unhinged -- and perhaps he has...unique talents you’re not aware of. He’s got to be good with his hands, after all, with all that oiling he does...”
“Look.” Nazir ground his teeth. “You know I respect you, Babette. You know that I love you as my sister. But before you speak, could you just think for a second about how it would sound coming out of an eight-year-old’s mouth? You are making me very uncomfortable.”
“Nazir. You know that I love you as a little brother. Has it occurred to you that I might be doing that on purpose?”
A series of sharp, leather-on-skin slaps rang through the Sanctuary, each followed by a little cry from the Listener, and all underscored with Cicero’s mad, devious chuckling.
“Ah, young love.” Babette took another dainty sip from her tea cup. “Do you suppose the Night Mother...”
Nazir’s face filled with panic. “Oh, please don’t bring her into this, I beg you.”
“No, Nazir, this is important. Do you suppose the Night Mother -- you know -- joins in?”
Eydling gasped. “That’s disgusting! Not to mention sacrilege.”
“I don’t mean her BODY! It’s right over there, safe in the casket, see? Honestly! The places your minds go! I just mean, do you think she talks to the Listener during times like this? Maybe...gives instructions?”
Nazir groaned and hid his face in his hands. Eydling was speechless. Babette grinned and swirled the leaves in her tea cup. She continued: “I mean, if I were the Night Mother, I might be a little infatuated with dear Cicero. I might want to repay him for all of his...tender ministrations.”
Eydling was white as milk now. “I’m going to be sick.”
“I’ll join you,” said Nazir.
“Oh, just pour yourself some tea. There’s nothing poisonous in it, I swear it. It’ll help your stomach.”
“Well...all right. Might as well do something to distract myself. Thank you.” Eydling reached for the kettle.
The slapping had stopped, and, at long last, so had Cicero’s laughter. All they could hear now were the Listener’s soft sighs. She was murmuring something, but Nazir couldn’t quite make it out. “I’m just relieved that the creepy little clown has stopped cackling,” Nazir growled.
“Mouth’s probably busy with something else.”
Eydling dropped his cup of tea. Nazir made a sound like a wounded animal.
“Eydling! Look what you’ve done! Now my favorite cup is chipped.” Babette sighed. “You two are like blushing maids; did you know that?”
“Why don’t we, ah, change the subject?” Eydling said. “How was your last contract, Babette?”
“Oh...so-so. I was trying to lure the vile old deviant into the woods, but his huffing and wheezing and drooling caught the attention of a passing guard. I thought he’d never leave us alone.” Babette got up for more tea. “But the cur met his end all the same...just a little later than I would’ve liked.”
No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 05:24 pm (UTC)(link)“Mmmm, Cicero, keep me! KEEP me!”
“Heh-heh-heh-heh! Ooooh, with pleasure, sweet Listener! Oh! OH! NNGH!”
“This has got to be a bad dream,” said Nazir through clenched teeth, digging the point of a dagger into the table’s surface, shaving off curlicues of wood and imagining it was Cicero’s skin.
“I...I think I’d better go out for some air.”
“But dear, why bother? You’ll just miss the grand finale.”
Babette was right. The grunts and moans quickly gave way to frenzied cries that reverberated through the Sanctuary’s stony halls...and then, sweet silence. If Nazir didn’t -- to his great misfortune -- know what was going on, he would think the two of them had just murdered each other.
Nazir took a deep breath. “Well. I’m glad THAT’S over.”
“I fear I’ll never be able to look her in the eyes again,” Eydling muttered.
“Oh, can’t a girl have any fun?” Babette smirked into her tea.
After a few minutes, the door opened, and the Listener and the Keeper emerged into the common room, looking furtive.
Nazir fixed them with his most withering gaze. Eydling stared at his feet, the kettle, the chipped tea cup, the ceiling -- anything but the Listener or the Keeper. Babette just beamed at them and asked, “Enjoying yourselves?”
The Keeper and the Listener looked at each other, practically imploded amid snorts of barely-contained laughter, and scurried in opposite directions without saying anything.
“There you have it, gentlemen,” Babette sighed. “True love. Oh, isn’t it grand?”
Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)This was hilarious! Great job!
Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-18 04:05 am (UTC)(link)I have to wonder why they stayed there and listened the whole time though. The proverbial train wreck.
Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-17 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-18 04:06 am (UTC)(link)Glad you were amused! :D
Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-21 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-08-24 05:31 am (UTC)(link)Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-09-15 02:59 am (UTC)(link)Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2013-11-19 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)Re: No Accounting for Taste 3/3
(Anonymous) 2015-06-25 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)Still catching my breath, so - well done!