Skyrim Page 3 - "Either you're naked, or I'm drunk. Maybe both."

[skyrimkinkmeme]

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Re: Werewolf Hunter 4/?

[(Anonymous)]

[Author note: I pay homage to another kinkmeme story here, I hope that a!a doesn't mind! It made me chuckle at the time and I still remember it. :) ]

--

“What do you know of the Dragonborn, pilgrim?”

Barknar looked up from his mead into the face of the tanned Nord, fixated intently on his. "O-...only what the legends tell us. Born of dragon soul, they will return one day, when the Greybeards call upon them from their mountain... as they seem to have done."

The man leaned closer, resting his forearms on the back of the chair which he was straddling, directly opposite the Nord ranger who only wanted to enjoy the inn after a day of walking the steps. "No, no... of the man! He who has slept in these very walls!"

Barknar took a big swig from his tankard. "Oh... I met him once. He is... a true Nord. Strong. As good a hero as the legends would have it." He bit off a large hunk of bread and gave the unconvinced looking bard a thumbs up. He supposed he wanted more of a story for a song, but he was giving off a slightly manic vibe.

---

"Guard! The Dragonborn, tell me what you know."

The patrolman rubbed his hands together for warmth and looked at the wild-haired speaker. "Oh, you're that bard. There a song in it for me?"

"Er, sure. A Stormcloak as yourself would like some Nord heritage, yes?"

The soldier waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, gods no. We get enough of that with all the Greybeard fans around here. Know anything dirtier?"

The colour in the already brown Nord's face rose, making him look rather absurd with his white hair against the snow covered mountains behind him. The guard laughed and patted him on the arm roughly. "Ha ha, relax, bard. Yeah the Dragonborn's been round here. Been fined a few times for drunken behaviour. Nearly locked him up last time for pissing on that barrow over there. He said he was dealing with the ghost. Ghosts can't cross a circle of Dragonborn piss, apparently, haha!"

The man sighed and left.

--

Talsgar observed the Dragonborn out of the corner of his eye from the corner of the inn. How could the prophesied hero of Skyrim be such a... buffoon? The legends painted a picture of a True Nord to save the land, and most Nords liked a drink but... the saviour of the province, defeater of Alduin, could he really be the man currently drumming up cheers from the inn revellers before walking the firepit?

It must be a façade, he concluded. It made no sense for the revered Dovahkiin to be the type to offer to walk the pit on his hands if all the ladies of the inn flashed their bosoms. He must be here to monitor my movements. There was crashing and a great cheer as the pots and pans came down around the singed Dragonborn.

Talsgar's face darkened as he supped his mead, contemplating the Dragonborn's doubts over his existence as merely a travelling bard. This Ungahrm was not on the Empire's payroll, fate had chosen him. He shuddered to think why the Gods or the Greybeards would be interested in his activities, but his job was to hunt werewolves for the protection of the realm, and it must remain secret! He would have to be careful around this Dragonborn.

There was a whoosh as a shirt caught alight on the fire pit, and a half-naked hero stood atop a chair tower screaming, "What year is it?! It's the YEAR OF THE DRAGONBOOORN!"

Whoomph. Trousers made a different sound.