“Cicero was worried,” Cicero whispered. “Cicero was scared. Cicero has not seen you like that before. Only when Madanach and you argued that time after you gave the Reach to the Stormcloaks, and he took your torc back. Oh but even then you were still strong! You still went off on your very important Alduin contract, and maybe Madanach was angry but Cicero knew he would get over it eventually, he always does. But now, now he is broken and so are you and... Listener, you mustn't leave! Not the Reach, not the King, not Mother! Mother is worshipped here, Mother is loved! This is her true home, and you must be here to listen! You cannot go back to Alinor, you can't, you mustn't!”
Liriel could feel tears in her eyes, and she tightened her grip on poor Cicero. Sweet Cicero. Little brother. Loyal brother. Always helpful and willing to stab anyone she wanted, and accompany her no matter how dangerous it got, and smile as if nothing untoward was going on even when it involved Black Books of Hermaeus Mora (even Madanach disapproved although that had not stopped him reading them too).
Of course she wasn't going back to Alinor. She'd built a life here before she ever met Madanach, and she'd have a life here despite him. She'd go back to Solitude if she had to, but she wouldn't abandon the Brotherhood. Not to mention trying to raise Sissel and Lucia in Alinor, good gods, never. No, they could stay with Madanach, at least they'd be cared for and loved for as long as he lived, and she could stay in Vlindrel Hall if she had to.
“I won't leave you,” she promised. “Not you, little brother. I will miss you when you die, but I know you'll be with Mother and probably quite happy.”
“If she lets me visit the Scuttling Void to see Eola,” Cicero said, sounding quite cheerful. “Or Eola could come to see Mother. I'm sure Mother would like her.”
“I'm sure the Night Mother would be very pleased to see Eola whenever she felt like dropping by,” Liriel said, smiling a little. It took her mind off the little ball of misery and revulsion that was Madanach right now.
Cicero smiled sadly and hugged her back.
“Cicero wishes the Listener was happy too,” he whispered. “Listener, you are going to the Void, so is Madanach, you will see each other again and be happy!”
Liriel felt the tears coming back. “He's only in the other room and being around him's breaking my heart!” Liriel whispered. “I don't want him to go, I don't want it to change, I don't want him to die, but it'll happen and then I'll heal and won't love him any more and... and now he hates me, I can feel it!”
“He does not hate you,” Cicero murmured. “He did not look like he hated you when Cicero saw him come out of here. He looked... oh Listener, he looked terrible but not like he hated you.”
“That's worse!” Liriel cried. “It means I hurt him! I broke the Reach-King! I – I broke Madanach...” She clung on to Cicero, sobbing helplessly into his motley, not able to stop herself as Cicero held on to her, cooing and fussing over her, whispering wretchedly not to, not to, Cicero was here, Cicero would care for her, Cicero would tend to her always and Madanach was not as fragile as Liriel thought, Madanach was like his daughter, stronger than anyone, and while Liriel agreed Eola was mentally unshakeable, she hadn't the heart to tell Cicero Madanach was just an old man who was far more vulnerable than anyone ever saw. She just let Cicero tuck her up in bed and then curl up alongside her, babbling and fluttering and snuggling her until she drifted off to sleep and even then Cicero did not let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning brought no clarity, no easy answers but it did at least bring calm. Liriel stayed in bed, hiding from it all, wanting to shut out the world, time ticking steadily by, each second bringing her husband closer to his grave and her closer to unending heartbreak. She could barely feel him in her mind today, just this morass of inky blackness that even she who'd dared Apocrypha and the Soul Cairn was afraid to look at.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.7
Date: 2014-02-18 08:47 pm (UTC)Liriel could feel tears in her eyes, and she tightened her grip on poor Cicero. Sweet Cicero. Little brother. Loyal brother. Always helpful and willing to stab anyone she wanted, and accompany her no matter how dangerous it got, and smile as if nothing untoward was going on even when it involved Black Books of Hermaeus Mora (even Madanach disapproved although that had not stopped him reading them too).
Of course she wasn't going back to Alinor. She'd built a life here before she ever met Madanach, and she'd have a life here despite him. She'd go back to Solitude if she had to, but she wouldn't abandon the Brotherhood. Not to mention trying to raise Sissel and Lucia in Alinor, good gods, never. No, they could stay with Madanach, at least they'd be cared for and loved for as long as he lived, and she could stay in Vlindrel Hall if she had to.
“I won't leave you,” she promised. “Not you, little brother. I will miss you when you die, but I know you'll be with Mother and probably quite happy.”
“If she lets me visit the Scuttling Void to see Eola,” Cicero said, sounding quite cheerful. “Or Eola could come to see Mother. I'm sure Mother would like her.”
“I'm sure the Night Mother would be very pleased to see Eola whenever she felt like dropping by,” Liriel said, smiling a little. It took her mind off the little ball of misery and revulsion that was Madanach right now.
Cicero smiled sadly and hugged her back.
“Cicero wishes the Listener was happy too,” he whispered. “Listener, you are going to the Void, so is Madanach, you will see each other again and be happy!”
Liriel felt the tears coming back. “He's only in the other room and being around him's breaking my heart!” Liriel whispered. “I don't want him to go, I don't want it to change, I don't want him to die, but it'll happen and then I'll heal and won't love him any more and... and now he hates me, I can feel it!”
“He does not hate you,” Cicero murmured. “He did not look like he hated you when Cicero saw him come out of here. He looked... oh Listener, he looked terrible but not like he hated you.”
“That's worse!” Liriel cried. “It means I hurt him! I broke the Reach-King! I – I broke Madanach...” She clung on to Cicero, sobbing helplessly into his motley, not able to stop herself as Cicero held on to her, cooing and fussing over her, whispering wretchedly not to, not to, Cicero was here, Cicero would care for her, Cicero would tend to her always and Madanach was not as fragile as Liriel thought, Madanach was like his daughter, stronger than anyone, and while Liriel agreed Eola was mentally unshakeable, she hadn't the heart to tell Cicero Madanach was just an old man who was far more vulnerable than anyone ever saw. She just let Cicero tuck her up in bed and then curl up alongside her, babbling and fluttering and snuggling her until she drifted off to sleep and even then Cicero did not let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning brought no clarity, no easy answers but it did at least bring calm. Liriel stayed in bed, hiding from it all, wanting to shut out the world, time ticking steadily by, each second bringing her husband closer to his grave and her closer to unending heartbreak. She could barely feel him in her mind today, just this morass of inky blackness that even she who'd dared Apocrypha and the Soul Cairn was afraid to look at.