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HELPFUL TIPS
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>When posting prompts, always remember to add kinks you're both looking for and wanting to avoid in a potential fill.
>When filling, please remember to add your story tags: characters, relationship types, kinks, series and universe (ie: skyrim)
>Our character limit here at LJ is 4300.
>If you have any other questions about posting, visit the HOW TO KINK MEME THREAD, under the Page Summary on your left.
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.7
Date: 2014-02-18 08:47 pm (UTC)Liriel could feel tears in her eyes, and she tightened her grip on poor Cicero. Sweet Cicero. Little brother. Loyal brother. Always helpful and willing to stab anyone she wanted, and accompany her no matter how dangerous it got, and smile as if nothing untoward was going on even when it involved Black Books of Hermaeus Mora (even Madanach disapproved although that had not stopped him reading them too).
Of course she wasn't going back to Alinor. She'd built a life here before she ever met Madanach, and she'd have a life here despite him. She'd go back to Solitude if she had to, but she wouldn't abandon the Brotherhood. Not to mention trying to raise Sissel and Lucia in Alinor, good gods, never. No, they could stay with Madanach, at least they'd be cared for and loved for as long as he lived, and she could stay in Vlindrel Hall if she had to.
“I won't leave you,” she promised. “Not you, little brother. I will miss you when you die, but I know you'll be with Mother and probably quite happy.”
“If she lets me visit the Scuttling Void to see Eola,” Cicero said, sounding quite cheerful. “Or Eola could come to see Mother. I'm sure Mother would like her.”
“I'm sure the Night Mother would be very pleased to see Eola whenever she felt like dropping by,” Liriel said, smiling a little. It took her mind off the little ball of misery and revulsion that was Madanach right now.
Cicero smiled sadly and hugged her back.
“Cicero wishes the Listener was happy too,” he whispered. “Listener, you are going to the Void, so is Madanach, you will see each other again and be happy!”
Liriel felt the tears coming back. “He's only in the other room and being around him's breaking my heart!” Liriel whispered. “I don't want him to go, I don't want it to change, I don't want him to die, but it'll happen and then I'll heal and won't love him any more and... and now he hates me, I can feel it!”
“He does not hate you,” Cicero murmured. “He did not look like he hated you when Cicero saw him come out of here. He looked... oh Listener, he looked terrible but not like he hated you.”
“That's worse!” Liriel cried. “It means I hurt him! I broke the Reach-King! I – I broke Madanach...” She clung on to Cicero, sobbing helplessly into his motley, not able to stop herself as Cicero held on to her, cooing and fussing over her, whispering wretchedly not to, not to, Cicero was here, Cicero would care for her, Cicero would tend to her always and Madanach was not as fragile as Liriel thought, Madanach was like his daughter, stronger than anyone, and while Liriel agreed Eola was mentally unshakeable, she hadn't the heart to tell Cicero Madanach was just an old man who was far more vulnerable than anyone ever saw. She just let Cicero tuck her up in bed and then curl up alongside her, babbling and fluttering and snuggling her until she drifted off to sleep and even then Cicero did not let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning brought no clarity, no easy answers but it did at least bring calm. Liriel stayed in bed, hiding from it all, wanting to shut out the world, time ticking steadily by, each second bringing her husband closer to his grave and her closer to unending heartbreak. She could barely feel him in her mind today, just this morass of inky blackness that even she who'd dared Apocrypha and the Soul Cairn was afraid to look at.
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.8
Date: 2014-02-18 08:48 pm (UTC)Then Eola swanned in without even bothering to knock and the resulting shrieking and cuddling brought tears back to Liriel's eyes. Why were Cicero and Eola lucky enough to have such a simple relationship? Both human, both likely to die within a relatively short time of the other, and Cicero, the more vulnerable of the two, probably likely to go first – and they never had to deal with weighty emotional issues hanging over them. Their foremost concern was generally where the next kill was coming from. Liriel envied them that.
“So how's our Listener doing this morning?” Eola asked, coming to perch on the poolside behind her... or at least she did until she realised Liriel was still naked and immediately took a seat just out of sight, Cicero curling up at her feet. “Any better?”
“My husband hates me,” Liriel said, feeling as empty as ever. “My parents hate me. My marriage is a lie built on a charade and it's going to be over in a few years. What's the point?”
“Don't say that, my da is heartbroken!” Eola cried and that just tore Liriel up all over again. “He loves you, Liri, he really does. You're the woman of his dreams, cariad, you're beautiful and murderous and dangerous and you can breathe fire. Why wouldn't he want you?”
That much had never been in doubt, and that was the worst thing. The love was genuine. The affection was genuine. The ability to amuse, entertain and understand each other was genuine, a gift of the gods. Maybe Madanach adored her, but he was also wild and murderous and dangerous and could summon fire at will. Dragons didn't normally submit to anyone, but Madanach made Liriel feel calm and protected just by being there. Of course, he didn't get it all his own way and there'd been plenty of times she'd had him pleading for more and begging to be allowed to touch her... but it would never have been the same being held down and claimed by someone who wasn't actually a match for her in strength.
Not having that any more made her want to cry, and where was she supposed to find another man who wasn't afraid of her? Harkon, Miraak, Ulfric, Mercer - she'd killed the others, and she'd never met anyone she trusted like Madanach. How was she just supposed to replace him and move on after he died?
“He's going to die!” Liriel cried, and it all kept circling inescapably back to that, didn't it? Humans died so stupidly soon, and maybe her mother saw them as a lesser breed unworthy of a true-bred mer... but her father just didn't want her to get her heart broken.
Too late for that, Daddy. Sighing, Liriel got out of the pool, after reaching for a towel and checking Cicero was looking away, and he was, head dutifully buried in Eola's lap.
“Sweet gods, Liriel,” Eola said faintly. “You perhaps want to warn me when you're going to wander around naked?”
“Don't tell me you're prudish about these things,” Liriel sighed as she dried herself, wondering why Eola was averting her eyes and blushing – Eola blushed? Liriel hadn't realised she was capable of it.
“Oh sweetie, believe me, that is not the problem,” Eola said and Liriel could swear Cicero was snickering. “Just... get dressed quickly so I can look in your direction again, yeah?”
“Honestly, anyone would think you'd never seen a naked woman before,” Liriel sighed as she pulled on her underwear. That elicited an actual cackle from Cicero before Eola smacked him.
“Cicero, shut up. And Liriel... oh Liriel, you sweet summer child,” Eola sighed. “Never you mind, honey, you just get dressed and let me know when you're done, OK?”
Liriel nodded and got dressed. Archmage robes, circlet, Gauldur Amulet, wedding ring, Shrouded boots and gloves, Mehrunes' Razor at her waist, that'd do. Then... time to face the world, she supposed. See her children. See if she still had a husband.
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.9
Date: 2014-02-18 08:49 pm (UTC)“Go on, go talk to him, we'll be right here,” Eola whispered and Cicero nodded fervently.
“Cicero isn't going anywhere, sweet Listener,” Cicero murmured and that did make her smile. With young initiates from the Forsworn to tend to Mother, Cicero had a lot more free time on his hands and Eola could only take so much of him at a time. So Liriel not infrequently found Cicero fussing over her too when Madanach was busy. It was all rather nice... but Cicero wasn't the Reach-King.
Today, Madanach didn't feel like one either. Liriel could tell he was feeling tense, on edge, not nearly as confident as usual. In fact there wasn't a lot there at all, just... nothing. Emptiness. Which was wrong, very very wrong, usually he'd sense her nearby and feel pleased. Not today.
“Madanach,” Liriel began as she approached. “Madanach, about last night...” No, really no idea about any of it, but maybe just being able to talk to him would help. If only she knew how he was feeling. Because he looked terrible. Hunched over the table, barely looking at her, red and puffy eyes. He'd not slept well, she could tell that.
“Madanach,” she whispered, guilt gnawing at her as she reached out for him... then shock as he flinched away.
“Liriel,” Madanach said quietly. “Your parents are leaving today, your father just stopped by to pay your mother's bounty. I made myself scarce, don't worry. You should probably go and say goodbye.”
Right now, Liriel couldn't care less about her parents. What was she supposed to say? Goodbye, thanks for visiting, by the way I think you just ruined my marriage and any chance of happiness I might have had in life.
She was more worried about her husband. This withdrawal was not like him – normally everyone could tell what sort of mood he was in.
“What about you?” she said softly, not touching him but taking a seat next to him. Madanach just turned away, head in his hands.
“It doesn't matter,” and he was barely audible, even Liriel's Elven hearing straining to catch him. But she heard the words and her mind flashed back to another time they'd been sitting by a campfire and she'd asked about his happiness and he'd shrugged and asked if that mattered. They'd been apart for weeks, she'd not seen him since the conference that got him his kingdom, but she'd known by that point she wanted him back.
“It matters to me,” she whispered, same words she'd said then, but this time he didn't look up or respond, he just moved further away.
“It shouldn't,” he said roughly. “Liriel, when they're gone, when Vlindrel Hall's empty again... you should move back there. Or one of the many other houses you've got. You can take the kids, do whatever you want with the ring, you can keep the torc even. Don't worry about the bond, I'll get Keirine to break it, you can have your head back. Have your life back. All I ask is a chance to see the girls now and then, let me write to them. I'll send coin for their upkeep if you like, full retinue of servants if you want, anything you need, let Nepos know.”
Liriel let her hand fall to her side, everything coming screaming to a halt as it sank in just what he meant.
“No,” she whispered. “No, you can't. You're my husband!” But he was slowly shaking his head.
“I can't, Liriel,” he said softly. “I can't do it to you. I should never have... I should have let you be, let you go off and find yourself an elven man who can give you what you actually want. Because you're not happy with me, at least you're not any more and I can't... damn, Liriel, I can feel you, you're breaking my heart!”
“I'm breaking your heart??” Liriel breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away irritably – a dragon shouldn't cry, even when her ahmul walked away like this. “Madanach, what are you doing, I still love you, you wanted me only yesterday, don't do this, please, what about the kids, what the actual fuck am I supposed to tell our children??”
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.10
Date: 2014-02-18 11:25 pm (UTC)Liriel couldn't stop the howl of grief as he said the words. He couldn't do this... she was the bloody Dragonborn... he owed her his country and freedom... pleased?? Pleased??
“I will never be indifferent to you,” she whispered, the words coming out more vicious than she'd planned.
“It's easier to mourn someone you hate,” Madanach said bitterly. “Trust me on that.”
The truly sad thing was, she couldn't even bring herself to do that. She'd been privy to what others rarely saw – a king with the robes and the crown off, just dozing next to her or shaving or waking up first thing in the morning and looking adorably confused, as if he wasn't sure if he was still dreaming or not, or turning their bedroom over as he called to her if she'd seen something of his. Little things that made a marriage, and the memories of holding him in her arms after sex and seeing him vulnerable, something very few others ever saw.
He was her Reachman, and he always would be, the stupid bastard. But that didn't mean she wasn't angry. Reaching for her left hand, she wrenched the wedding ring off and threw it at him, feeling vaguely pleased as it hit his cheek, the diamond drawing blood. Madanach cursed, a hand to his face, magic already flaring but it didn't erase the blood from his fingers.
“All correspondence to my housecarl Jordis or via Argis,” Liriel snapped, shoving her grief behind a facade of cold disdain. “Don't contact me yourself. I'm taking the girls to Solitude, you can write to them, and see them when you visit Lirela. But you stay away from me. You. Stay. Away!”
Liriel didn't even dare look at him. It was taking all her self-control not to cry or beg or plead with him, and had she but realised it, if she'd done all that, if she'd kissed him and screamed at him he wasn't allowed to, she wasn't leaving... he'd probably have cracked, broken, kissed her back, said he was sorry for everything, for ruining her life, but please not to go, he loved her. And if he'd done that, they'd likely have taken the conversation somewhere more private, cried, talked, ended up in bed and emerged the better for it, all ready to tell Liriel's parents where to go. But Madanach couldn't say the words and Liriel was too proud to... and things went in a very different direction.
~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: See? Crying! Oh Madanach, you really are a bit dim sometimes. Give him a political, magical or military problem and he's all over it but ask him to deal with relationship troubles and he falls apart completely. Next chapter, things go from bad to worse as Liriel goes to speak to her parents.
Re: Thicker Than Blood 6.10
Date: 2014-02-19 12:30 am (UTC)