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Skyrim Page 5 - "NAKED! Naked naked naked "

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Jzargo crushed his poorly graded test between his paws as they left the classroom. "I'd have done better if you'd let me in on those books you stole from the library."

Enthir looked smug and with a toss of his head flipped his shock of hair back from his eyes. "You would've given into your own greedy impulses and sold them to the first trader who waved a little shiny coin under your nose. And speaking of shiny, keep your paws off my things when you come into my room.You think I don't see you coveting my wares? Just because we're study partners doesn't mean you get any break on the prices."

"You are greedy, a thief, and a cheater then."

"Did y'know your whiskers quiver when you get mad?"

"What?"

"Ha! Shakywhiskers, is what I'll call you from now on. Heeere, Shakywhiskers." Enthir laughed and stepped out of clawing range before hissing between his teeth, catcalling.

"Jzargo thinks you are a fool."

"Enthir thinks Jzargo is just jealous he didn't think of stealing the books first. Did you get distracted chasing your tail? Don't think I don't know about the tail chasing."

"So Jzargo chases his tail--what does the elf care?"

"I don't. I'm saying you look like an idiot. You also look like a pile of dust."

"Hsss--I think you're unskilled at your craft, and short!"

"Ha! Is that what they say when you finish up in bed, fleabag?"

"You are not near as clever as you think," Jzargo said, his tail flicking with annoyance. "You are just a stupid and greedy elf who can't pass a simple test without cheating, is what you are."

"Oh get off your high horse. You're no one to talk. You would've read those books in a minute if you'd only been able to focus long enough to find where I've got them hid. But mice can be so engaging."

"You still have the books then."

"Of course. I can't go back until Urag Gro-Shub forgets about it. I'll sneak them back, say, in a couple of months."

"Hah, coward. Khajit are bold. Jzargo would not be frightened to bring them back; Jzargo has the skill to sneak anywhere he wishes."

"I think you're mixing up bold and stupid. Besides, what if they prove useful later?"

Jzargo grew quiet, flattening his ears. "Could the elf be convinced to share? Coin? Artifacts? Perhaps moonsugar or the like."

"You can't buy me that easy. Moonsugar? Gods, I do have some sense. I don't want to be in your pocket for the rest of my life. You can't trade for them and you won't find them either."

They were back at Enthir's room, and Jzargo glanced around, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Something flashed across the floor to the left and before he could think, he leapt for it, catching at it's tail as it bounded across the floor. Enthir's husky laugh broke his concentration. Jzargo blinked his big yellow eyes and realized he was chasing a ball of twine. The same ball of twine that usually sat on the elf's desk, near the alchemy supplies.

That was too much. He dove and caught the Bosmer in a flying tackle. They crashed down on the bed as the Khajit's claws tore through the cloth of the elf's coat. Enthir snarled and punched Jzargo squarely on the nose.

In between squeaky sneezes, Jzargo noticed two slim magic volumes had fallen from the coat's torn pocket.

"So--atchee! You had them--atchee! On you the whole time!"

Enthir snatched the one he could reach and threw it across the room before Jzargo could grab it, and it tumbled out into the hall. Jzargo, the sneezing fit having passed, leaned down over the elf like a beast over prey.

"I told you I'd win this, elf."

"You've not done anything yet."

"I'll show you what I can do. You wait and see."

"You two could at least close the door before you start going at eachother." It was a deep voice they both had reason to dread. Urag Gro-Shub standing in the hall outside the open door with a crate of books, looking disgusted.

They were frozen in fear for a moment before they realized that he had not noticed either of the stolen books.

"Oh--ah, many apologies, Master Gro-Shub," said Jzargo, releasing Enthir.

The Orc grunted and shook his head and continued on down toward the library.

"Great," Enthir hissed. "Now people will think we're an item."

"It's better than being caught with the books and fined, no?" Jzargo picked up the book from the hall and tucked it into his belt pouch for safe keeping.

"Barely."

"If you want to read from the other book, you know where to find me," Jzargo said, smug, and went back to his own room in high spirits. He had one book, Enthir had been taken down a notch, he hadn't been caught by the librarian, and he finally had a bargaining chip over the smug, self assured Bosmer. All things considered, things were looking up.

Thanks for posting this. I love the little digs; Shakeywhiskers is great and J'zargo chasing the yarn was wonderful. Do you have any plans to carry this on into a series? I'd love to see these two bickering and snarking their way through the Winterhold plot line.

i agree! i'd love to see more of this !! absolutely loved it

Hee! This is hilarious. I love the part where Enthir mimics J'Zargo's speech by speaking in the third person. And the way their fighting is mistaken for foreplay is perfect for the Meme.

I've always thought the lack of doors was a problem with the College of Winterhold. Perhaps you might need to keep an eye on sneaky apprentice mages, but even the teachers lack doors on their sleeping quarters! I don't know how anyone ever manages to get privacy there, without seducing the Arch-Mage or going down to the Midden (eww).

...oh TO the midden. not ON the midden. that makes more sense than how i read it

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